


10,000 Worlds

by Exstarsis



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: First Time, Multi, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Sex, Sweet/Hot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:21:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exstarsis/pseuds/Exstarsis
Summary: In ten thousand different worlds, Ritsuka Fujimaru loses her heart to a Servant. This will be an anthology of love scenes from those stories. Mostly (but not exclusively) featuring femRitsuka and miscellaneous Servants. Ritsuka’s personality will shift a bit for each of her romances, while the Servants will be as close to canon as I can manage.
Relationships: Bedivere | Saber/Fujimaru Ritsuka, Cú Chulainn Alter | Berserker/Fujimaru Ritsuka, Fujimaru Ritsuka/Arthur Pendragon | Saber, Fujimaru Ritsuka/Everyone
Comments: 32
Kudos: 170





	1. Bedivere

Ritsuka stretched as she woke up from a delicious morning nap. It was always hard to get enough sleep when deployed, so anytime she didn’t have anything else planned, she snuck back to her room after breakfast and snuggled back under her covers. Most of the time Mash didn’t let her get away with such indulgence for long, but occasionally she did, and today had turned out to be one of those days. Why, it must be past lunchtime by now!

Twisting her torso on the bed and arching her back as she clasped her hands over her head, Ritsuka heard the door of her room slide open and glanced over with a big smile for her kohai. But instead of Mash’s return smile, she met the wide eyes of Sir Bedivere of the Round Table.

Ritsuka squeaked and sat up, blushing as she tugged her pajama top back down over her torso and then covered her face in embarrassment. Of all the people to catch her in such an uninhibited state, _Bedivere_ , whom she’d had, well, a _crush_ on ever since he’d appeared in the summoning circle. _(Before, really, but she knew too well the perils of feeling That Way about somebody met in a singularity. Not that she’d ever felt quite That Way about anybody else—but she’d learned to appreciate, cherish and above all_ not get too attached _…)_

The door slid open and closed again and she peeked though her fingers to see Bedivere had departed. Confused, she lowered her hands, wondering what had just happened.

Somebody knocked on her door. A smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, Ritsuka smoothed down her top and said, “Come in!”

The door opened to reveal Bedivere, in what passed for casual clothes: a purple tunic with golden buttons over bloused trousers tucked into gray boots. His fair skin revealed that he too had been blushing recently, just a little. A look of exaggerated surprise crossed his usually solemn features. “Master, you’re still abed? I’d heard you dined in the cafeteria hours ago.”

Laughing, Ritsuka slid to the edge of her bed and kicked her feet. “I went back to bed!”

A line creased Bedivere’s brow. “Are you ill?”

“No, silly. I went back for fun!” She stood up and then lost her balance and sat down again at the strange expression that crossed Bedivere’s face.

“Oh, ah, um, should I—?”

Ritsuka covered her face once more as the implication of what she’d said hit her. “Maybe you should go out and come back in again.”

“Mmf,” he said, and the door opened and closed.

As soon as it did, Ritsuka scrambled to her feet and raced around, getting dressed while kicking some older laundry under her desk. Dammit, usually she only had Mash in here!

The third knock came as she was tugging on her skirt. She took a moment zipping it. She had Servants to cause shenanigans, so she really didn’t need to do it for herself. “Ready!”

The door opened and Bedivere stepped smartly in. “Your designated Mash-substitute reporting for duty, sir!”

“Mash-substitute?” Ritsuka asked, confused. She’d seen Mash at breakfast, she was sure.

“Miss Mash asked me to take her place this morning as your aide, as she required regular medical maintenance,” said Bedivere with the dazzling smile that always left Ritsuka feeling slightly stunned.

 _Wait…_ “Did she?” She scrambled for a calendar and frowned at the blank line. “She didn’t—oh.” The frown became a grimace as she realized what must have happened. “Ah. I see.” ‘ _Regular medical maintenance’ my ass! Mash… I swear to God I never mentioned him more than anybody else, so how did you_ know?

Quickly she closed the calendar and turned her grimace into a half-grin as she returned her attention to Bedivere. “I guess so! But you didn’t have to take her place, you know? I’m perfectly capable of driving myself through a day now and then. And this is supposed to be downtime for recently deployed Servants, too.”

Bedivere’s mouth twitched. “She told me that if you didn’t have somebody to watch over you, you’d drive yourself to exhaustion.” His gaze went over Ritsuka’s shoulder to the bed before meeting her eyes again. The hinted smile broke free. “I suspect I may have misunderstood what she meant. Yet I’m here and there’s no place else I’d rather be right now.” His new smile was smaller but no less powerful for Ritsuka, drawing her forward a few steps unconsciously.

“All right,” she managed as she caught herself. “I’ll never say no to a friend’s company if I can avoid it.” She blinked. “That’s not right. I _meant_ I always enjoy a friend’s company. I, uh, I just woke up,” she added weakly.

Once again his mouth twitched and his green eyes sparkled. “So I’ve observed. Shall we walk while we discuss your plans for the day? You might find your head is clearer away from your bedroom.”

 _See?_ Ritsuka told herself as she followed him out. _See? He also believes we’re_ friends _, as well as Master and Servant, or at least he didn’t argue. Friends is good. Especially when_ friends _comes so easily. Unlike with some of these cranky dumbasses._

As they strolled down Chaldea’s corridors, Bedivere said lightly, “I’d meant to remind you that, like Mash, you need to take care of yourself. But I see now that you have a more balanced care for your health than what I’d seen on missions.”

“I certainly want to do it more days than they let me get away with it,” Ritsuka said, with a self-deprecating laugh.

After an extended pause, Bedivere said in a slightly strained voice, “I too have felt that way.”He shook his head a little, frowning.

Just as Ritsuka was about to ask what was wrong, his face relaxed. He took a deep breath, gave her a friendly sidelong look and said, “Now, although I’m but a poor shadow of Miss Mash, I’m here as her designated substitute. Today, I am your attendant, your butler. I am your Servant today in every possible sense of the word. Ask me for anything I can give you.”

When Ritsuka didn’t immediately answer ( _she was struggling to not track Mash down and shake her silly for setting up this extremely nerve-inducing situation),_ Bedivere said, “I understand often you train in the simulator, or monitor remnants from the Singularities?”

“Most of the time,” muttered Ritsuka, still collecting the thoughts Bedivere kept scattering.

“Ah,” said Bedivere, almost smugly. “ _That_ fits with the Ritsuka I thought I knew. You change out your teams, but we do talk to each other, Master. In that case, I propose we take a small trip of relaxation to a place I know.”

“Even knowing I was relaxing all morning?” Ritsuka teased.

“Well, if you feel you’ve had enough rest, Master, I’d just have to make myself available to you on another day.” His voice was low and amused. “But I don’t think taking the afternoon off occasionally would make you a sloth. Remember your health.”

There was really no chance Ritsuka was actually going to reject time spent with Bedivere, which was probably what Mash had been counting on in her nefarious plan. “Yes, that’s a good excuse. Where’s this place of yours?”

A little while later, Bedivere guided Ritsuka down a nighttime beach, occasionally touching her elbow or wrist to adjust her away from some small peril. The surf crashed into the shore on her left while in the near distance a campfire blazed cheerily.

“It’s Tristan who discovered this beach,” Bedivere confided as they walked through the cool sea-scented night. “But I’ve come here with him before and I know he won’t mind you visiting either. There’s also another place nearby I’d like to show you later.”

Ritsuka inhaled the salt tang of the sea. “Not what I expected, honestly, but it’s nice.”

Bedivere’s eyebrows went up and he looked self-conscious. “Did I raise your expectations too high? I’m sorry.”

Then, as they reached the waiting campsite, Bedivere turned to the sea. “I wasn’t sure how I felt about the place on my first visit. I came along because Tristan likes having somebody to rant at. But there’s something about staring at that horizon where the night becomes the sea that just… drains away all my cares. For a little while, at least.” He flashed her an encouraging smile.

“I might fall asleep again if it’s too peaceful,” warned Ritsuka, settling down on one of the flat stones near the fire and letting the flames warm her back as she looked at the wine-dark sea.

Settling on another rock, Bedivere smiled. “If that scenario comes to pass, I’m prepared to offer what aid and comfort I can. Tristan’s fishing supplies are here, though, if you’re interested in an alternative.”

“No, that’d put me to sleep even faster!” She rested her chin on her hands, looking out at the slivered horizon, and listening to the crash of the surf. It was nice being around only Bedivere like this. Although she was certain nothing else would come of the privacy, she’d have to thank Mash rather than beat her up. Her kohai was a welcome shadow most of the time but this scene would have been about the two of them if she’d been there, while Bedivere would have faded silently into the background.

Ritsuka glanced over and met a gaze that had been fixed on her with an unanticipated intensity. “It’s beautiful, in its own way,” she offered.

“Yes,” he agreed, as if his mind was elsewhere. “And you’re much quieter than Tristan is.”

Grinning, Ritsuka said, “Oh, I don’t have to be.”

“I know,” said Bedivere hastily. “Believe me, I’m not complaining, Master. Tristan is a cherishedcompanion, but I was just thinking how well you fit here, sitting with your face to the darkness and your back to the light, like the guardian you are.”

“And you beside me,” added Ritsuka seriously. “You make me sound so noble, Bedivere, but I’ve never been alone through everything I’ve gone through. Not even once.” _Unlike you_ she couldn’t bring herself to say. She knew he had scars that would never heal, even if some she only guessed at.

“Yes,” said Bedivere, smiling ruefully. “You certainly aren’t lonely.”

Slowly she said, “No. Not often.” Her throat dried up before she could add _That doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes want more._

Instead she managed to admit, “But it’s nice to be someplace like this with you.”

Once again a strange look crossed Bedivere’s face and she suddenly panicked, trying to figure out how she’d inadvertently embarrassed herself this time. But she’d meant every word of what she’d said. Had it been too much? Did he regret bringing her here, to this dark, isolated inlet?

Ritsuka jumped to her feet, desperate to escape such a horrifying thought and convince him she hadn’t said anything significant _(even if that was a lie)_. Kicking off her shoes, she bounded down the shore to where the surf soaked into the sand.

“Master?” Bedivere sounded startled.

She flashed a smile at him over her shoulder. “I’m just going to wade in the waves a little. What’s the point of visiting the sea if you don’t get your feet wet?”

The water was _damn_ cold, but its served admirably to drive away any hints of sleepiness and to focus her on the here and now instead of silly daydreams. She exclaimed, “Woo! Brrrrisk!” and her voice echoed off the cliff walls that mostly enclosed the inlet. Then she stomped her feet until the spray rose to the skirt she had bunched up in her fists.

Glancing back at Bedivere, she expected to see a look of amusement on his face, but instead he looked oddly wistful, his green eyes intent on her.

Impulsively, she held out a hand to him. “Come on. It’s not that bad!”

His eyes widened and then he shook his head. “It’s not my place. I’m only here as your aide, Master.”

Ritsuka looked down quickly. “Oh, right. Playing with me not in the job description.” Her feet were slightly numb from the chill, but she drew back a foot to kick at the surf.

Too late, she discovered the waves had eroded the sand beneath her feet, leaving her balance precarious. Too late she discovered slightly numb feet didn’t recover well from precarious footing. She kicked and fell backward in the same graceless movement.

The night sky flashed before her eyes, ocean spray glittering against the faint stars.Then something hard caught her around the shoulders, pressing her side against a warm chest. Bedivere’s hand wrapped around her waist, his fingers brushing over her bare skin as once again her top rucked up.

He stared at her from only inches away, his eyes wide and worried. Ritsuka realized he’d moved from his rock like lightning to catch her in his silver arm before she could land badly on her back.

She gazed up at him, frozen first in shock and then like a deer in headlights as she became achingly aware of his fingers at her waist, the rise and fall of his chest against her arm, and how she could count every one of his fair eyelashes.

His nostrils flared as he inhaled. The worry faded from his lambent green eyes, replaced by something else: a spark of fire that made Ritsuka feel hot all over. His metal fingers tightened at her shoulder, while his thumb stroked the tender flesh of her abdomen. Meanwhile, Ritsuka tried desperately to get control of her racing heart and raging hormones.

It was only when she felt his sweet breath on her face that she realized he’d been drawing closer and closer. Then his lips brushed softly over hers.

As her mind went completely blank, his palm flattened against the bare curve of her waist, sliding up a few centimeters so the entire breadth of his big hand pressed against her skin. His tongue flicked over her mouth and then slid gently between her parted lips.

For a long moment, Ritsuka lay across his arm and bent knee as he kissed her, wondering if she was dreaming, hoping if she was she’d never wake up. Her entire body felt like a live wire in his embrace. She had no idea what to do. But he did. His tongue and lips teased hers, focusing the heat racing through her deep in her belly. Coherent thought had never seemed farther away as his thumb continued to stroke the skin of her ribcage just under the curve of her breast.

Then a particularly big wave rushed the shore, splashing her calves even though she’d lifted both feet from the cold water. The spray speckled her cheek and made Bedivere lift his head. He looked as dazed as Ritsuka felt. Slowly a stricken look grew in his eyes before he closed them for a long moment.

When he once again opened them, he looked pained but distant. Carefully he set Ritsuka on her feet again just beyond the range of the surf, while he remained kneeling on one knee in the breakers. Lowering his head, he said quietly, “I’m sorry. Perhaps we ought to return to Chaldea now.”

“No!” said Ritsuka. She wasn’t thinking clearly, but her instincts told her that if she agreed meekly and went back now, something precious she’d been close to grasping would evaporate away. “No, not yet.”

Bedivere glanced up at her, his eyes hooded. “I’m not fit—”

Ritsuka didn’t have to listen to that. She bulled ahead with the same determination that had conquered singularities. “You said there was someplace else you wanted to show me. We’re not going back until I see it.”

He stared up at her, his face expressionless. She tapped her bare foot. “Come on, stop kneeling in the surf. Just because you can’t get a cold is no reason to show off.” Then she backed up the beach until she found her own shoes and sat down to put them on again. She concentrated hard on brushing the sand off every bit of her feet instead of thinking about how he was still staring at her.

When his booted feet appeared in her field of vision, she said brightly, “Where are we going next?”

“There’s a path up the cliff,” said Bedivere, in a voice bereft of his earlier friendliness. But it wasn’t a cold voice, either. It was the voice of a man determined to do his job, no matter what had just occurred. Ritsuka slipped her feet into her shoes while considering that, and then bounced to her feet.

“All right. Let’s go.”

Without the little touches he’d used to guide her to the campfire, he escorted her to the path and indicated she ought to go before him. It was a narrow trail and a reasonable request, and having him out of her line of sight made it just a little bit easier to think through what had just happened.

He’d taken her to this dark, lonely inlet. He’d unexpectedly kissed her. And now he seemed to regret it. She didn’t get it. It wasn’t like a comedy skit where he’d slipped and fallen on her; it wasn’t like she’d tricked him into the Pocky game. It had seemed pretty deliberate from her perspective.

Furtively she ran her fingers over her lips, the tactile memory still very strong. She probably shouldn’t suggest they do it again until she’d worked out why the first thing he’d said after had been _I’m sorry._ For one, she’d probably start crying if he refused. Confusion was a hell of a lot better than rejection.

At the top of the cliff, the wind picked up, rippling across a rolling meadow with a few scattered large trees. As the wind gusted, she could hear the rustling of the leaves from where she stood. The odor of the earth beneath her feet teased her nose, along with the distant scent of fresh water. The night sky seemed much brighter and closer up here.

Ritsuka put her hands on her hips, looking around. As Bedivere stopped beside her, she said, “I know it’s nowhere near as vast but somehow this sea of grass feels bigger and emptier than the ocean down there.”

“Mmm. In a good or bad way?” A little of his previous companionableness had crept back into his voice.

“I don’t know,” Ritsuka confessed. “I don’t think I’d like to be here alone for very long. I’d probably start singing really loudly or something.”

“Ah,” said Bedivere. “It’s quite similar to a certain place in Britain. A tranquil place, where my mind always races like this wind.” He sighed. “I usually come here to renew my resolve and reinvigorate my soul. So perhaps this isn’t a place of relaxation for me, either.”

Ritsuka snuck a glance at his profile and then looked away when she met his green eyes instead. Quickly she asked, “How does a place like this do all that?”

“Ah,” he repeated, and fell silent a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was distant. “My Britain was not a peaceful place. Even at the best of times, it experienced so much strife, and there were many victims I could do nothing to save. There was one… Princess Helena of Brittany.”

He paused for a moment and then shook his head before continuing. “At one point her uncle the King had spoken of our betrothal, but before anything came of it, the Giant of Mont Saint-Michel kidnapped her. King Arthur and Sir Kay accompanied me to hunt the giant down and rescue her.”

Now Ritsuka could detect the tension in his neck, his shoulders, even his curled fists. She wanted to touch him and remind him she was there for him—and before he’d kissed her, she would have done it without a second thought. But now… now she didn’t know if she’d make it better, or worse.

“The King and Sir Kay defeated the giant. I won’t diminish their effort and say they did it effortlessly… but they did it. I, on the other hand, left them to save the princess and… I failed. I was too late, too… powerless. I found only her corpse.”

At that, Ritsuka couldn’t stop herself from gently brushing one of his clenched fists with a single finger. His hand opened and he caught her fingers convulsively before pulling away. He looked down at her, though, his green gaze steady. “I don’t deserve your comfort, Master. I failed to save the people dear to me. Helena, and my King at Camlann…” His calm voice roughened. “I brought you here, to this place where I am most reminded of how weak and powerless I am, so I could… swear to protect you as I failed to protect them. Instead… I betrayed your trust, just as I betrayed theirs.”

He turned toward her, his gaze so intent she didn’t think he realized he’d taken both her hands in his own. “Only that once with you, I devoutly pray. I shall keep myself at a distance from now on, and… and if you do ever lose all trust in me, please know I will never, ever fail to protect you.”

Ritsuka’s brow furrowed. “How did you betray my trust?”

Bedivere’s green gaze darkened. He brought one hand up to her face, his fingers sliding against her hair as his thumb caressed her cheek. The slightest pressure tilted her head up toward his as he slowly bent toward her. Then, when he was close enough that she could feel his breath across her wetted lips, his eyes widened and he jerked himself away from her so suddenly she swayed.

Turning away, hunching his shoulders, he said, “Like that. Please, let’s return to Chaldea before I make things any worse.”

“Not yet,” said Ritsuka absently, and his shoulders hunched further. “Bedivere… I don’t think of that as a betrayal?”

With a frustrated shake of his head, he said, “Then you’re even more innocent than I suspected.”

It was really not the right time for blushes but Ritsuka’s body didn’t care. She demanded, “Is that so bad?” and then added in a stifled voice, “Is that why you stopped?”

He gave her a sharp look. “No! I stopped because I never meant to… Luring you to a place like this and then taking advantage of you is the act of a cad and a scoundrel. I shouldn’t have even considered this location. I’m sorry I did.”

Ritsuka stared at him for a long moment, her mind working furiously. He met her gaze briefly before dropping his eyes again. Finally she took a deep breath and said, “You told me earlier I could ask you for anything in your power today.”

“Yes,” he said, without raising his gaze.

“All right,” Ritsuka said, nervousness twisting her stomach. “Then kiss me again, and this time don’t stop.”

Slowly Bedivere looked up. “Say that again?”

Wringing her hands together, half terrified out of her mind that he’d push her away in disgust, she repeated, “Kiss me! Don’t stop!”

Before the echoes of her voice had faded, he had both hands, one metal, one flesh, on the sides of her head and his mouth was coming down on hers. He tasted her lips for a moment before his mouth stilled. Then, his words tickling her lips, he said, “But I will stop, I swear, as soon as you command.”

Ritsuka responded by wrapping her arms around his waist and pushing up on her toes. Her teeth clacked against his own and his silver hand slid down to her back while he once again adjusted her head with his other hand. Then, taking the invitation she’d presented to him, he began to gently and delicately explore her mouth.

They stood there for what felt like a long time, simply kissing, before he broke from her mouth to kiss down her neck. His warm hand had drifted from her face down to her hip and up again, curving against the hot skin of her ribcage under her top. Then, as he kissed under her ear, his hand moved further up, palming her breast through her bra.

The shock of sensation made Ritsuka gasp, her fingers digging into his lower back. He once again stilled, his mouth soft against her neck, his hand a steady pressure against her breast as he waited. Both the touch of his mouth and his hand created a thread of fire that sang through her, narrowing her attention to just those two points.

He whispered, “Ritsuka?” and his low voice became a third point of obsession.

She tried to focus on him with her eyes, but everything seemed so bright and she gave up. “Yes,” she mumbled. “More.”

His hand pressed harder against her breast, squeezing gently, as he once again kissed her mouth with renewed passion. Then he was unlatching her bra and his hot fingers stroked directly across the delicate skin at the tip of her breast. Ritsuka’s brain temporarily shut down as lightning seemed to crackle from her chest to her groin.

When she came back to herself, she’d pressed herself hard against him, kissing him back with fierce abandon. When, after all too brief a time, he pulled both his mouth and his hand away from her, she whined like a child before demanding, “Why did you stop? I didn’t say stop.”

Bedivere stepped a little away from her, spreading a cloak onto the grass like a blanket. His fair hair was disordered and he glanced at her through one of his long bangs. “Because if I go on, soon I’m going to be kissing parts of you that might be awkward while standing up.”

Ritsuka worried her lower lip with her teeth, watching as he concentrated on smoothing the blanket. Her legs felt trembly and she felt hot and fretful. When he finally seated himself on the blanket and looked up at her, she barely waited for his arms spread in invitation before throwing herself on his lap.

He caught and positioned her, before tugging her top over her head. The cool night air raised goosebumps on her skin, but the solution seemed obvious to Ritsuka. She began working at removing his tunic, too. His buttoned like a jacket rather than going over the head, and as she worked at the fasteners, he ran his warm hand up her back and pressed his nose into her hair.

“Ritsuka,” he murmured, as if just saying her name gave him pleasure.

She flushed, concentrating on the buttons rather than the muscled chest revealed beneath. This was the _right_ thing to do, the thing she _wanted_ to do. His hand on her back was an exciting reminder of where else his hand could be. But she was suddenly also keenly aware that she was sitting in the lap of Sir Bedivere of the Round Table, that most faithful of King Arthur’s knights, topless as she removed his own clothes.

As soon as she opened the final button, though, he shrugged out of the tunic and laid her back against the cloak-covered grass, kissing her once again—but only for a moment on her mouth. Then he was moving down her throat and through the valley between her breasts before returning from below to press soft lips around even softer flesh. The tip of her breast, already semi-erect from his previous caresses, became painfully hard in his mouth.

Meanwhile his warm hand had moved down to the bottom of her skirt and started sliding up her thigh underneath. At first it was an almost ticklish distraction from his mouth, but as his hand moved higher and his fingers squeezed the back of her thigh, she gasped as another thread of excitement joined the storm already swirling in her core. And when his fingers slipped up from underneath to stroke her inner thigh, she cried out despite herself as something in her seemed to melt.

Then his fingers brushed against her panties and she wriggled uncontrollably, instinctively trying to encourage more pressure. This was the place where all the threads of pleasure and excitement came together in a single knot that she _needed_ him to touch.

In response he pulled his hand away. Once again she whined, and he responded by kissing her mouth as his hand ran over her stomach and once again brushed over her core through her panties. She bucked her hips upward and for a moment felt a maddening burst of pleasure as one of his fingers pressed against that knot. When he moved his mouth to her other breast and pressed down with his finger again, Ritsuka thought she might have screamed.

Then he was pulling her panties down one-handed, still resting most of his weight on his silver hand. When he’d dragged them down to her knees, he once again put his hand against her core, this time pushing his fingers into the thatch of fur there. Every hair he tugged against became a note in a symphony of arousal, such that when one of his digits slipped between her folds and stroked along the slick wetness, it felt like exactly the right thing to happen next.

“Please don’t stop,” she begged, driven by the growing urgency in her core.

He moved his mouth to her ear and whispered, “I won’t.” Thus reassured, she gave herself over entirely to what he did to her. She could soon no longer distinguish what he did with his mouth and what he did with his hand, only that wave after wave of pleasure swept through her, each one blurring into the next until finally that sense of urgency exploded through her into a sweetly perfect sense of completion.

When she came back to herself, Bedivere held her very close in his arms, his nose buried in the curve of her neck. It took something hard pressed against her thigh—something other than his silver hand, for that was carefully underneath her—for Ritsuka to realize that Bedivere had sought to please her without taking anything for himself.

She turned to look at him, frowning. He met her gaze and pulled away, his eyes shadowing with worry. Her scowl deepened and she said, “Why didn’t you…?” and slid her hand down to his erect manhood, still hidden within his pants.

His pupils dilated, the black almost consuming the green, as she touched him. He licked his lips before saying, “Because it wasn’t part of pleasuring you.”

Ritsuka stroked her palm up and down the intriguingly hard shape. Then he was kissing her again, harder and fiercer than before, before dragging himself away. “You don’t need to… I can… Later, I’ll…”

In response, she tugged on the waistband of his pants and slipped her hand within.

“Oh, sweet heaven, Ritsuka,” he mumbled as her fingers stroked down and encountered the shaft rising from the nest of wiry hair.

“I want you to put this in me,” she said firmly, giving a little squeeze for emphasis. The little motion seemed to electrify Bedivere, so much that at first she thought she’d hurt him. But when he was kissing her hard again, pressing her back into the blanket, both his hands running over her breasts, she decided maybe it hadn’t been a yelp of pain after all.

Then her skirt was crumpled around her hips, her thighs had been pushed apart and Bedivere had stretched himself fully on top of her, supporting most of his weight on his hands. Hard, hot flesh pushed against her core, and his green eyes were hazed with passion as he looked down at her.

“I want you so much, Ritsuka,” he whispered.

“Yes,” she said. “Here I am. Don’t stop.”

He pressed himself into her slowly, sliding easily into an opening well-primed from her previous pleasure. When he seemed to be in as far as he could go, he paused, looking down at her intently.

“I’m fine,” she told him fiercely. “Let’s do this.”

He nodded, and then laughed a little. “That’s the Ritsuka I know…” He withdrew most of his length and pushed in again. This time Ritsuka gasped as he rubbed against something strange and sweet. And as he once again fully penetrated her, that knot of pleasure stirred and she moved her hips to increase the fiction.

In response he inhaled sharply and thrust into her again, this time harder and faster. Then he was pounding into her. Once again each individual sensation, from the friction to the scents of crushed grass and his sweat, merged together into something almost supernaturally transcendent, overloading her every nerve until they screamed together.

Then he was yanking himself from her as he sat back, his hand wrapping around his member. He jerked twice and fluid spurted from the tip, landing somewhere on the cloak to Ritsuka’s side.

She blinked dazedly, utterly confused and still half lost in afterglow. “What…?”

Bedivere stared down at what he’d done in bemusement, and then gave a short, wry laugh before stretching out on Ritsuka’s other side. “Old habit,” he murmured as he gathered her close.

She gave him a crooked eyebrow and he chuckled again. “When I was part of the Round Table, I had my fair share of ladies to please. But it never seemed… chivalrous to saddle any of them with my bastard.”

“Oh.” _Past lovers_ … Ritsuka decided not to think about that too hard. “But that’s not a concern now, since you’re a Servant.”

“I suppose not,” he said.

“So next time…” She trailed off, wondering if he’d want a next time and then wondering what he thought of her now, after she’d thrown herself at him so blatantly. “I mean, if we do it again… uh, _do_ you want to do it again?”

“Ah,” he said. “Not right this moment, please.”

“Oh,” repeated Ritsuka doubtfully.

His fingers gently stroked her hyper-sensitized inner thighs and he added, “You’d regret it later.” Then, in a more seriously voice, he said, “Ritsuka, you know how I feel now, and you’ve given me an irreplaceable gift. But you don’t have to—”

“What?” she interrupted. “I do _not_ know how you feel. I don’t even know if you _like_ me now. I _made_ you do this to me, didn’t I? Took advantage of your offer to do whatever I asked, for my own selfish reasons? Is this just… just the service of a Knight of the Round Table?”

He blinked at her with that adorably startled look he had sometimes. “I love you. How could you not know that now?”

Ritsuka kicked him gently in lieu of hugging him so hard he couldn’t breathe. “You’re the one who thought kissing me was a betrayal, you dork.” Then she butted her head against his chest, snuggling against him as she played his words over and over in her head.

He rubbed her bare back, nibbling on her hair. Eventually, he said, “What were you saying about if we do it again?”

She peeked up at him. “Do you want to?”

With an exasperated sigh, he repeated, “Not right this moment, Ritsuka. Give your body some time.” Then, his cheeks coloring, he added, “But yes, later, I very much would.”

“Great!” She grinned at him. “So next time you can finish inside. It’s gotta be better than what you did this time.”

Then _he_ was hugging _her_ so hard she could barely breathe. She suspected it was to hide how red his cheeks were. “All right,” he whispered.

“Can’t… breathe…” she croaked, and his embrace immediately loosened, worry briefly clouding his eyes before he smiled gently at her.

She wriggled until she could rub her nose against his. “All right. I’m fine with delaying the—” and she thrust her hips against his stomach meaningfully, “—for now. But you know what doesn’t hurt at all, and we could keep doing all the way back to Chaldea?”

He opened his mouth to say, “What?” and that was when she kissed him.


	2. Cú Chulainn Alter

Alone together in the wilds of the resolving America Singularity, Cú Alter kept watch in the darkness while his new Master slept beside him. They’d been stranded together far from the rest of the team, but she’d held up well through the punishing march he’d insisted on. But now she had her head pillowed on her arm and her back pressed against his thigh, her entire body limp with exhaustion.

Although the memories were distant, he knew that only a short while ago, he would have killed her if her other Servants had given him the chance. Instead they’d defeated him at her command, and then she’d called him back from the abyss to serve her as well.

He was a weapon, and a good one, so there was no need to wonder why. But she didn’t treat him as a weapon which… puzzled him. She trusted him, which he’d initially appreciated as a good understanding of his purpose. But she didn’t trust him as a weapon. She trusted him as a _man_. She kept expecting him to have desires and preferences of his own, beyond that of utter victory on her behalf, and yet she _trusted_ him so much that she slept beside him without a qualm.

This was not all right. He was not pleased with this. Never mind that he _was_ a trustworthy tool. If she trusted _him_ as a man, she no doubt trusted others that way too. Other Servants, encouraged by her respectful, even affectionate treatment, would take liberties. They would take advantage of how easily she trusted for their own pleasures.

Well, not when he was around. He’d see to that. The short time he’d been at Chaldea, he’d seen how softly everybody stepped around him. As a good tool, he’d had no opinion on their behavior, but now he’d be able to use it. He’d make sure nobody except her Shielder was closer to the Master than him.

===

And so it was:

“Here’s the roster for the next mission, senpai,” said Mash, showing Ritsuka the tablet.

She scanned it, grinning as a name leapt out at her. “Cú Alter again? Do you have a crush, Mash?”

Mash gave her a hurt look. “Not _me_ , senpai. He’s the one who insists, every time.”

Later, at bedtime on the mission, Ritsuka watched, her cheek on her hand, as he lowered himself on her left side, just as Mash curled up on her right side. “You don’t have to stay beside me as I sleep, Cú Alter. It’s not just you and me this time.” 

He didn’t even bother answering her, his alert gaze already scanning the forest as if the other Servants on watch were meaningless.

She kept trying, though. At mealtime the next day, she patted the ground on her left side. “Hey, Cú Alter, there’s room right here for you. Take a seat. Eat something. What do you like?”

He ignored her utterly, remaining standing at watch a few feet away. Ritsuka’s eyes narrowed and she hopped to her feet, grabbing some of the berries Robin had provided. “Cú Alter! Look at me.”

When he looked down at her, his gaze so disinterested he might as well be dead, she put a berry up to his mouth. “Try it.” But when he opened his mouth to speak, she listened rather than popping the berry in.

“Don’t waste resources meant for you on your tools, Master. It’s irritating.”

“Hmm,” said Ritsuka, scanning his face. She took the berry away, ate it herself, and saw how his gaze sharpened in approval. Thoughtfully, she returned to Mash and the Servants who would eat with her.

===

Less easily could he ignore her ceaseless babbling. The girl talked and talked and _talked_ , and she wasn’t content with his simple presence. She’d pause too often and wait for him to grunt some reply. It grew to be more and more annoying, until sometimes he found himself longing to stop her mouth to shut her up. Somehow that only made her talk more, with a nervous breathiness that drove him to pace around her restlessly. 

And then in the long, boring hours of her sleep, he’d remember how much he relied on her prattling to help him track her state.

===

It was the Chaldea Christmas party, and as usual, Cú Alter stationed himself near Ritsuka. She’d grown used to it by this time, although she never gave up inviting him to _live_ rather than _exist._ But she’d enjoyed his company even despite his reserve. His indifference sometimes made her laugh and sometimes annoyed her; his boredom almost always amused her; and trying to get him to respond to her had become one of her favorite ways of killing time. Sometimes she _really_ irritated him, and then the game became finding out what would make him stalk away from her. So far, he never had.

He _did_ tend to try and intimidate some of her Servants when they approached her, mostly the flirty male ones. Sometimes that was actually convenient. She tried to be kind to all her Servants, but when she had other things on her mind or she wasn’t in a happy mood, he was a big help in keeping away those who just wanted to pass time with her.

But it was different at the Christmas party. Christmas was for dancing, and she was very happy to dance with anyone. Clearly he wasn’t prepared for that. She saw his brow furrow as his Lancer self slipped an arm around her waist and smirked at her bodyguard. 

Cú Alter’s frown sent a bigger crack through her seasonal cheer than she expected. She called over her shoulder, “I’ll dance with you next, if you like!” but he only scowled.

She spent the dance with Lancer Cú frowning so much he teased her. “Aren’t you used to how surly he is?”

“I thought I was…” Ritsuka began and then shook her head. “I didn’t think that would be what finally made him unhappy, though.”

Cú gave her an odd look. “Didn’t you? I did.”

Ritsuka shoved his chest. “Yeah, but it’s different for you and him. Come on, more dancing.”

She found Cú Alter afterwards, although it took some searching. She finally located him on the wide service walk encircling the hangar where the dance was held, looking down at the party. 

“You didn’t want to dance?” 

He glanced at her before looking away from her, glowering. “You didn’t summon me to dance with you. You summoned me to be your blade.”

She moved so she could see him. “But I’d enjoy it if you wanted to.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“All right.” She sighed, thinking about his scowls. “Cú, what _do_ you want?”

“We’ve had this conversation before, Master. I’m a weapon, not your friend.”

She gnawed on her lip, looking at his profile and clothes. Black hoodie, black jeans, grudgingly worn instead of his spiky combat gear while in Chaldea. She’d been wary at first when he started glaring at some of her Servants, because she’d had to deal with that before.

But she liked him too much for it to keep bothering her, even though she thought she had a pretty good idea what it meant. She was only now realizing that she’d been hoping for _more_ from him for a while. More demands on her attention. More _intimacy_. It was finally occurring to her that he might never have intended on pursuing anything _more_ , and it chafed.

She’d gently rejected more than one of her Servants, often managing to let them down so easily they seemed to like her more rather than less after. Sometimes, she’d let them kiss her first, because she didn’t entirely know her own feelings. She’d been prepared for that with Cú Alter. She’d kind of been looking forward to it on a subconscious level.

But now she was paying the price for her own arrogance. Whatever he had going on, _she_ was going to have to reach out to _him_.

She crawled around him so she could face him, and then rose up on her knees and draped her arms over his shoulders. He regarded her with a stoic indifference that made her quail inside. But she’d faced bigger challenges than this before she’d even met him, so she screwed up her courage and said, “Do you want this?” before kissing him.

At first his hot lips were passive against hers. Then with a sound deep in his chest, he caught her shoulders, pushing her back as he caught her lip between his sharp teeth and ran his tongue along it. Then she was flat on her back and her gentle kiss had been utterly overwhelmed by his invading tongue and teeth. Dazed, she hadn’t fully processed what was going on before he lifted his head and then pushed away from her to rise to his feet.

Slowly, feeling the bruising on her mouth, Ritsuka sat up. “Is… is that a yes?”

He scowled at her. “That was habit. Medb made me for sex as well as slaughter, Master. If that’s what you want from me, just ask.”

“Oh,” said Ritsuka quietly, and thought about the Servants she’d tried to so gently reject. Had they felt like this? Like they had rocks in their esophagus made of all their self-doubt? Like everything they’d accomplished was worthless and meaningless compared to what she’d said?

Ugh. It sucked.

She looked at Cú Alter’s back, and realized he’d materialized his combat gear, with all the spikes out. His tail swished angrily, and her confusion deepened. “I upset you. I thought—”

“Shut up, Master. I’m tired of you pushing your own feelings onto me. If you want me to fuck you, ask. Otherwise, drop it.”

Her voice sharpened as her hurt burned through her usual equilibrium. “Those spikes aren’t very inviting. I think it’s pretty evident you don’t want me that way.”

He turned and looked at her, his eyes burning. “Tools don’t want anything except to be used well. Do what you want. I can screw you with or without the gear. Or use me only as a blade. I don’t care.”

Ritsuka turned and went to the door, but before she left she said, “If you don’t like me that way, why have you insisted on going everywhere with me?”

He laughed dryly. “I’m your Servant, Master. Your weapon. I wouldn’t do you much good far from your hand.”

Ritsuka found this answer very unsatisfying, but she knew she wouldn’t get anything else out of him at that point. Without another word, she left.

====

“It doesn’t make sense,” she told Mash later, pacing back and forth as the Shielder updated some records. “He doesn’t behave like you do. He bristles at most of the other Servants when they flirt or get touchy-feely. I was _sure_ …” She stopped. “Was I just projecting, Mash? Because I have a crush on him, was I interpreting what he did as a sign he was interested in me the same way?”

“There’s a betting pool, Senpai,” said Mash, without looking up. “About a third of the participants have scrip down on you telling him off within a month. The rest are wagering you two get together. So I don’t think you’re projecting.”

“…Huh.” Ritsuka thought about that for a moment and then asked casually, “Do these, uh, happen often?”

“Every time you form a special connection with a new Servant. Other pools spring up now and then, but I don’t think I should tell you about those to maintain the integrity of the contest.” Mash glanced up, flashing the tentative smile that always melted Ritsuka’s heart. “It keeps the competition among the Servants friendly, you know. And they stay focused on their common interest.”

“Do _you_ bet?” Ritsuka asked.

“Oh no,” said Mash. “I’m the judge.” She looked down at her tablet again. “And as the judge, Senpai, I think you should trust your own feelings when it comes to Berserker Cú.”

===

_Trust your own feelings_ turned out to be a lot harder than _bury your feelings and pretend they never existed_ , which is what Ritsuka _wanted_ to do when Cú Alter showed up at the next mission briefing and took his customary place at her left hand. He gave her the same indifferent look as always before turning his attention to the others gathered, and she wanted to curl up in a ball on the carpet.

But staring down at the floor, she saw his tail twitching in echo of yesterday’s angry swish, in a situation where his tail had never moved before. When she looked up quickly, she caught him moving his eyes away from her.

That was all, but it was enough to keep her wondering, enough to make her distrust what he’d said. At the very least, _I don’t care_ , was a lie. But what he cared about she couldn’t determine. Had Medb hurt him in ways hard to see? Had Ritsuka’s impulsive kiss awakened old scars? She hated the thought. She wanted to make it up to him if so, but she knew better than to try apologizing again. Instead she watched him and watched him, trying to understand.

Only a few days later, once again a rayshift mishap stranded the two of them together in a micro-Singularity with a temporary communications blackout.

“This keeps happening,” Ritsuka observed cheerfully, looking around the forest where they’d landed. “At least this time there’s plenty of game to eat while we work out what to do next.” She looked at him sideways, trying to determine how he felt being alone with her, and blushed at his direct stare.

Flatly he said, “The way you keep looking at me like I’m a wilting flower is starting to piss me off. Stop.”

Since he brought it up, Ritsuka jumped straight into the heart of the storm with, “I keep wondering if I hurt you the other day.”

“When you kissed me? No, Master. Your little kiss did not hurt me. But even if it had, you shouldn’t care. My entire point in existing is getting hurt for you. Fucking accept that already.”

“No, because it’s not true,” Ritsuka said, suddenly back on firm ground. She might not understand how he felt but she was absolutely certain that every Servant existed for themselves… even if not all of them would admit it. “But we don’t have to argue about it.” 

He stared at her a long moment, idly moving his spear. “Medb kept me a lot busier than you do. In and out of her bed. She didn’t believe in being ambiguous, either.” Before Ritsuka could get past the shock of the comparison, he leaned down and said, “If you want me to fuck you, _just ask_. Stop staring at me with worried doe-eyes.”

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t know _what_ to say. After a moment he straightened up. “Look, I’ll make it easy on you. Let’s make it a yes or no question. Do you want me to fuck you?” His eyes burned into hers.

Ritsuka found herself chewing on her finger, a nervous habit from her childhood. With a disgusted sound, Cú Alter pulled her hand away from her mouth. “Well?”

Cautiously, Ritsuka said, “It… depends?”

His hand tightened on hers and then he pushed her away, frustration spasming across his face. “On what?”

Her nervousness ebbed as his frustration rose, although she didn’t know why. “On what you want.”

Cú yanked her close with one hand on her shoulder, and then shook her a little. “You’re a smart girl, so why can’t you get it through your skull that I am _a tool._ ”

When he stopped shaking her, his face was very close to hers. She found herself lightly brushing her fingers over the red lines under his eye. She could just say _yes_ , she realized. She could say yes, and he’d do whatever she wanted.

Say yes, and reinforce his belief that he had no desires of his own other than _victory_.

She blinked as Cú’s nostrils flared. Then he straightened, pushing her behind him as something growled in the bushes. 

By the time the battle was over, he was cold and distant again, and Ritsuka had realized the folly of picking up the conversation in the situation they were in. This was not a safe place to push her only Servant on a personal issue. 

Besides, she needed to think. Although it was undeniable that Medb had warped him, Ritsuka was no longer worried about the impact of her kiss. Something else was going on, and while she had vague threads of suspicion, she couldn’t yet see the tapestry.

But after thirty-six hours alone in the Singularity with the Berserker, she’d practically forgotten both suspicions and metaphorical tapestry. Fighting off wave after wave of enemies without support from Chaldea, with only a few small breaks for her to catch some sleep, tended to clear her mind of all but immediate survival. 

On the evening of the second day, they’d had a broken, scratchy message from Chaldea directing them to an extraction point a few miles away. They just had to hang in there until noon the next day. 

“You’ll rest here,” said Cú, pushing Ritsuka into a small copse of trees. They’d had neither the time nor the energy support from Chaldea for Cú’s many smaller injuries to heal, and it was obvious to Ritsuka how drained he was. Still, to her experienced eye, they’d be fine as long as they avoided any tough enemies and the little ones didn’t show up faster than the trickle charge Cú got through their bond. The extraction point wasn’t that far, and even a few hours of rest would make a big difference for her and therefore for him.

She leaned against a tree, thinking about the half-raw rabbit she’d eaten earlier. It seemed like a long time ago. Cú knelt down beside her, turning his head to sniff the air, one of his hands wrapping around her calf. It was a familiar pose: her resting on her feet while he kept watch, one hand on her in case he needed to move her _fast._ They’d done it dozens of times before, both on this excursion and on others. She was more useful closer to him, and he grudgingly admitted he fought better close to her. And as soon as he’d decided it was safe enough, she could curl up on the ground and sleep against his warmth.

She was therefore a little startled when, after sniffing the breeze for a few moments, he turned toward her. He was close enough that his nose brushed across her stomach and she froze, her heart suddenly pounding. When he lowered his head, dragging his nose down her stomach to her pelvis, she hesitantly put a hand on his stiff hair. 

“Cú?’ she whispered, her throat already dry.

“You smell good,” he muttered, the pressure of his nose sending pulses of pleasure through her. “Really damn good.”

A bit of tension left Ritsuka’s spine but coiled in her stomach as she realized what was going on. He’d been using a lot of magical energy, and, well, bodily fluids represented an additional source of energy for a Servant. This wasn’t actually him changing his mind about her. She _knew_ that. But she wondered how far he’d take it.

“All right,” she said breathlessly. “What do you want to do?”

In response, he nuzzled her forcefully, making her gasp, and dragged his teeth over the fabric between her legs. Then he yanked down her entire lower outfit: shorts, tights, underwear, pulling off one of her shoes in the process. Sliding his roughly calloused hands up the softness of the back of her thighs, he pressed his face into her core. His breath was cool across her heat, sensitizing sheltered skin. When his tongue flicked out, she felt his first stroke with what felt like every nerve in her body.

Unsteadily, she held onto the tree behind her as he licked her, concentrating on deep breaths and not making the kind of noises that would attract predators. His tongue moved at a steady pace and pressure, each swipe a bolt of pleasure. And over and over she told herself that no matter how good this felt, this was not romantic; this wasn’t even affectionate, and it might not even qualify as sex given the circumstances.

But as the pleasure edged toward ecstasy and she bit back the little mewls that kept trying to escape, she dizzily changed her mind. This _definitely_ qualified as sex and they were probably going to have a _really_ awkward conversation later… 

Then she couldn’t think anymore. The rough bark of the tree scraped against her hands, sap tangling her hair as she tossed her head back and forth. Cú’s hands flexed against her thighs, keeping her spread wide enough for him. The lewd sound of his licking was inescapable, and the way his tongue touched her was so exquisite that for once, she had no words at all. Her fingernails dug into the wood of the tree as she thrust her pelvis against his mouth, her entire body quivering as ripples of bliss radiated out from where he worked.

He slid his hands up to her butt, squeezing as he shrugged one of her legs over his shoulder. Her entire spine arched in response. As his long, steady strokes changed, becoming a firm, pulsing pressure, she nearly sobbed at how good it felt.

She felt his chest rumble through the bare foot against his back, and looked down at him. His glinting ruby eyes were fixed on her face and she realized with a shuddering jolt that he’d been _watching_ her. While his initial response might have bordered on the animalistic, he was acting deliberately now, putting his mouth against her, licking her, _pushing_ her.

It was too much, and she looked away, preferring to concentrate on the sensations he created than see herself reflected in his eyes. He squeezed her butt hard, and his chest rumbled again, and she gave him another furtive look. Then her eyes widened as she instinctively recognized what was in his eyes. Once again, she hesitantly put a hand on his head.

His eyes slitted and for the third time the pressure and movement of his tongue changed. For Ritsuka, the moment of almost rational thought vanished and all she was aware of was the rushing in her ears, her breath in her lungs, her fingers in his hair, and the movement of his mouth evoking wave after wave of pleasure. Then, without warning, the biggest wave of all broke over her. His tongue kept moving as it thundered over her, a pleasure so intense she forgot how to move. When it finally began to fade, his mouth was soft and gentle against her.

As soon as he moved away, she stopped being able to hold herself up, but that was all right because he was there. She was still only barely aware of her surroundings as he caught her and laid her on the moss on her side. Her eyelids fluttered closed, but only for a moment….

When she opened them an unknown time later, he sat beside her, as he often sat beside her when she slept on a mission. _Usually_ on missions she slept with her pants on, but new experiences did come on adventures. 

Without sitting up, she ran her gaze up the spike-endowed leg beside her, over his armored crotch and up his freshly healed torso. He was surveying the forest, just as he’d been before he decided she smelled like dessert.

“So,” she began, and coughed rustily. How loud had she been? God, she was grateful no monsters had shown up. “So, do I get to do that to you next?”

He sounded bored as he said, “If you want to,” and although she’d expected that answer, she’d _expected_ it, she still clenched her fist. Where the hell was her clothing? 

“Do you want me to?” she asked, very precisely. Oh. Her clothes were balled up under her head, along with her shoes. Sitting up, she grabbed them and began to get dressed again.

He glanced down at her with the irritated expression that meant he didn’t want to rehash an old conversation. So she did it for him. “Let me guess. A tool doesn’t want things.” She paused to let him jump in and also to put on her tights.

When he did not jump in and her tights were as comfy as they could be after being flung to the forest floor, she said, “So what the _hell_ was that just now? I didn’t order a damn thing, I was _careful_ —”

“Instinct,” he said flatly. “The instinct of a weapon needing honing.”

Flabbergasted, she stared at him. Then, after tugging on her shorts, she said, with acidic exactness, “Do your instincts want me to put your cock in my mouth? Or anywhere else in me?” 

Inwardly, she was shocked at her own bold words. But it was worth it to see him slowly turn to look at her. At least it was until he said, “That wouldn’t be nearly as productive.”

She dropped her shoes, because it was that or hit him with them.

…Actually, hitting him sounded pretty good. She floated an idea. “How much would it hurt you if I stabbed you with Gae Bolg?”

He gave her a clinical, dispassionate inspection from her stocking feet to the top of her head. “I’d live.”

“Oh goodie! Give Gae Bolg to me right now!”

He didn’t, as she’d known he wouldn’t. He was perfectly willing to ignore any order she gave him that he didn’t like. It’s just that if it related to him fighting, he liked them all.

Instead, he leaned down to her and said, “ _Just ask_.”

She didn’t bother pretending she didn’t know what he meant. Instead she stared at him long enough that he looked away, returning to his vigil. She thought of what she’d seen in his eyes as he’d wordlessly insisted she look down at him.

“No,” she said carefully. “I don’t think I will.” Then, once again fully dressed, she curled up on the moss and let her body’s exhaustion carry her off to sleep as her frustration mingled with an odd sort of contentment.

===

The next day, after they returned to Chaldea and finished the post-mission debriefing, Cú Alter escorted Ritsuka back to her room, just like he usually did. She hadn’t thought closely about his habit before, but now she did, cross-referencing it with the day before. 

At her door, she turned to him before going in. “Cú—” she began and stopped as he looked down at her, a tension she hadn’t noticed before running through his shoulders even as he maintained his usual indifferent expression.

She pulled her mouth to one side, looking up at him, and then sighed. “Never mind.”

As she started to turn away, he caught her, clearly irritated. “What is your problem? Why won’t you ask for what you so clearly want?”

She flushed. “Is it so clear?”

His eyes narrowed. “I’ve seen cats in heat who were less obvious.”

Ritsuka thought of Medb, because apparently she, Ritsuka, _was_ in fact catty. “You’re a real smooth talker there, Cú.”

He ignored that. “Tell me to fuck you and get your head on straight already.”

After a moment, Ritsuka said very softly, “I don’t think you know what I want at all.”

Scowling, he said, “Fine. Lie to yourself if you must. I’ll be here when you change your mind.”

She stared up at him. “Will you? But you’re not exactly my only option, Cú Alter.”

For a moment, the flames of madness danced in his red-eyed glare. Then his gaze chilled like brittle steel and he said, “Don’t try to convince me now that you’re stupid. I already know you’re not.”

Anger only he seemed to evoke bubbled through her and she demanded, “How about your other self? Would sleeping with him be stupid?”

“Yes,” he bit out, his talons flexing.

“Why?” She was fully ready to go into this in detail, right there in the hall. But he disappointed her.

With a gesture of frustration, he said, “Do whatever the hell you want, _Master_ ,” and stalked down the corridor, leaving Ritsuka with nothing to do but go to her room and punch her pillow.

===

“How’s the betting pool going, Mash?” Ritsuka asked her kohai the next day, playing with some quartz instead of focusing on her own record-keeping.

Mash looked at her seriously. Then, pushing up her glasses, she said, “It’s 50-50 now, senpai.”

“Hah. You’re the judge, what makes you think I haven’t already told him off?”

With a little smile, Mash said, “I have my reasons.”

Ritsuka didn’t need to ask what they were. She knew. She couldn’t even convince herself she’d given up on the dumbass Berserker she’d fallen for.

“I was thinking maybe I should try straight-up seduction, you know? Petting him, changing up the wardrobe so that everything’s hanging out, talking cute—don’t flinch, I already know he’d hate that, I’m not going to do it.” Ritsuka paused, spinning a quartz, distracted. “You know, doing stuff he hates might be… well, anyhow. The thing is, I already know how he feels. I _know_ he wants me, Mash!” She fumbled the quartz and it went spinning off the table and into Mash’s palm as the Shielder reflexively caught it.

“At least, I think he does,” amended Ritsuka, watching mournfully as Mash carefully put the quartz away out of her reach. “I thought I’d keep hold of that, too. Anyhow, I don’t want to torment him. I just want him to stop being a dumbass.”

“Why?” inquired Mash gently, putting a deck of cards on the table for Ritsuka instead.

Ritsuka started building a house of cards as she thought. “Because I like him and you can’t have a relationship with somebody who refuses to admit they want what they want. ” She thought more, stacking the cards up three stories. “You know what’s weird? The more he frustrates me, the more I like him.” 

The Shielder looked puzzled. “You like the challenge, senpai?”

Slowly Ritsuka shook her head. “I’m not that twisted. But… no matter how frustrated I get with him, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t flinch. I mean, I love them all but half the Servants would take to their fainting couches if I raised my voice and the other half would plan a murder spree. I told _him_ I wanted to stab him with Gae Bolg and he didn’t give a shit.” 

“But you’re sure he cares about you,” said Mash. It was a statement of fact, not a question.

Ritsuka sighed and put her head on her hands. “Pretty sure. For some definition of caring.” She squeezed her thighs together, remembering and muttered, “Instinct my ass. He _wanted_ to see my reactions, more than I’ve ever seen him want _anything_.”

Wisely, Mash ignored her mutterings and said, “That’s fine, then. I think all you have to do is wait, senpai.” When Ritsuka frowned, she picked up a few more cards. “Something I learned from Roman about objectifying yourself is that it’s intrinsically unstable as soon as you’re around people who refuse to play along.”

“Yeah?” asked Ritsuka gloomily. “But he’s hanging in there so far. He’s _stubborn._ After all, the only thing he admits wanting is _victory_ , even if it means sacrificing himself.”

She watched as Mash carefully built a fourth tier on top of the third. As she placed the final card, the entire structure shivered before collapsing. Smiling, Mash opened her fingers, letting the final card drift onto the pile with the rest.

===

Cú Chulainn Alter had been summoned to Chaldea in a state of near-absolute apathy. He knew his job and doing it well was the only thing that had mattered to him. The little Master of Chaldea had won his loyalty and then his respect as a matter of course. It was only later, after he’d decided to dedicate himself to her protection, that he’d begun to detect certain distasteful flaws in her personality.

It shouldn’t have mattered to him. It _didn’t_ matter to him, except that she’d become so _irritating_ with the way she wouldn’t just take what she wanted as her due. Her ego was incredible to him. She wasn’t content with being able to command whatever she wanted. She required the very tools around her to proclaim their adoration for her. The emperors had _nothing_ on her.

When he told her that, she just sighed at him and said, “I’m not Medb, Cú. I’m not going to be her. And I’m _never_ going to order you to my bed. But if you decide you want me, I’ll be waiting.”

It was bullshit, he hated it and he was seriously thinking about killing her.

Well, he was seriously thinking about seriously thinking about killing her. Sure, that might lead to the end of the world, but that _had_ been his original goal. Supposedly it was good to get back to your roots.

It became even worse when one day, shortly after she told him she’d never be Medb, she stopped poking him about what he wanted. Stopped expecting him to answer her. Stopped looking at him with her worried doe-eyes. Stopped even _noticing_ him at her side.

He really, _really_ hated that.

It wasn’t long after that when, loitering near her room as he usually did, he observed his bright self, the Lancer Cú Chulainn, knock on her door and be admitted to her room as if expected.

Cú Alter leaned his head back against the wall and thought about some of his favorite battles. At first he reached for the really brutal ones he distantly remembered from his past existence as Medb’s Mad King, where he’d indiscriminately slaughtered his way through thousands. In that life, it was the closest he’d ever come to enjoying anything.

That was then. Now… he remembered orange eyes, initially determined and next triumphant as he carved his way through the small group of enemies in between them and their destination. And then he remembered them laughing, anxious, furious. Widening at his touch. Half-closed as she begged him for release. Her lashes against her cheek as she cuddled against his leg.

His fist slammed into the wall behind him and he opened his eyes. It had been far too long since he’d killed something. He stalked past Ritsuka’s room toward the training simulators. They could always conjure up shadow Servants for him to shred. It was better than nothing.

When Ritsuka’s door opened behind him, he glanced back to see Lancer exiting and once again his fist clenched. For a moment he debated the pleasures of killing Shadow Servants versus beating the shit out of a real one. Then Lancer called, “Oy, Berserker-me!” and he dismissed the fantasy for the nonsense it was.

Crossing his arms, he waited for his template to approach him. He was always so… _friendly_ and _approachable_. The Alter couldn’t imagine how annoying it must be.

With a smirk in his eyes, Lancer said, “Hey, so the Master asked me to help her out.” He paused, no doubt hoping for a sign of interest that Berserker certainly didn’t have. “Yeah, so… she wants me to get you to stop being a dumbass. Her word, not mine.”

Berserker thought of how Ritsuka had been all but ignoring him the last few days. As he realized she’d been pretending, the sweetest sense of triumph he’d ever felt since his rebirth filled him. Rarely used muscles moved in an unconscious smile.

Lancer watched him in amusement. “Oh man, that’s a scary smile. Don’t show her that or she’ll run away. What are you so happy about, anyhow? You like that she thinks you’re a dumbass?”

Berserker’s smile faded as once again his equilibrium returned. Almost automatically, he said, “I don’t give a shit what she thinks about me as long as she gives me battles to fight.” But even as he spoke, he was thinking about how he would tease her soon. About what he…

“Aw, come on,” said Lancer. “You were doing so well there for a moment. Feeling so happy she still cared about your grim ass. Man, I do _not_ understand what she sees in you when she’s had me available all along.”

Now was when Berserker would normally turn and walk away from a conversation that bored him, eg a conversation about something other than a battle or competition he’d yet to win. He’d clearly already won _this_ battle and yet he couldn’t pull himself away despite Lancer’s deliberate provocation.

With a sneer, he said, “You’re loyal to men but not to women. God, you even told me what she wanted you to do.”

Lancer closed one eye, thinking about this. “You think she cares about that? I always figured I was doing them a favor, spreading my appetite around. But…like, she looked at you and thought, ‘He’s loyal!’” After a critical look, Lancer shook his head. “Nah, I can’t see it.”

“She has good instincts,” said Berserker flatly.

Leaning against the wall, Lancer said, “So you think you’re the best here for her? What with the shouting matches at two in the morning…” He trailed off and then said thoughtfully. “You know, she’s never shouted at anybody before.” 

Berserker shrugged, still mostly thinking about Ritsuka and the best way to push her into asking for what she wanted. He barely noticed Lancer staring at him, until the Lancer started grinning again. Then coldly, he said, “What’s so funny?”

“You really are a dumbass.” He effortlessly avoided Berserker’s blurred hand grabbing at him which... should not have been effortless. Odd.

Berserker growled at his bright self, “I’ll take that from her, but not from you.”

Clasping his hands behind his head, Lancer said, “It’s true though. You’ve been playing this stupid fucking game with the Master and you just lost and you haven’t even realized it yet.” Once again he sidestepped another attempt to grab him. “You keep it up now and all you’re doing is lying to her. Great way of showing her that loyalty you’re so proud of, eh?”

Cold as ice, Berserker focused, and this time he caught his bright self by the throat, if only for an instant. Then their limbs tangled briefly and Lancer sprang away from him, landing in a crouch with his own Gae Bolg in his hands and a feral grin. “Okay. We don’t even have to take this to the training room.”

Berserker narrowed his eyes and that flicker of irritation only Ritsuka evoked kindled, combined with a new respect for her cunning. “She put a _Command Spell_ on you?”

“Yeah, she did, and I’m suddenly real keen to take advantage of it. Come on, let’s go.” Lancer gestured with his spear.

Still staring at Lancer, Berserker breathed, “I may actually kill her.”

“No, no,” said his bright self. “Not her, me. Don’t disappoint me.”

He hesitated, because of the real temptation to pound her favored champion into a bloody smear on the ground. But the stronger temptation of putting his hands on Ritsuka won. “Whatever.”

When he stalked past his still-crouching bright self, the Lancer sighed. But before he could say anything Berserker said, “Shut it. No more smart remarks. No getting in the last word.”

“You do realize you lost, right?” asked the idiot, looking up at him. “You’re not going to go in there and wreck everything, yeah? I’ve got money riding on this.”

Berserker considered this momentarily and then grinned down at Lancer. “I still feel like I won.” 

As he reached Ritsuka’s door, Lancer muttered under his breath, “Well, yeah. That’s kind of the point…”

===

Ritsuka waited anxiously in her desk chair, swiveling back and forth as she chewed on her finger. Lancer had warned her that it might be a bit before he had anything to report. She had plenty to do, but somehow, swiveling and chewing on her finger was all she could manage.

Therefore when her door slammed open, she was so startled she soared into the air and landed on her feet, her hand pressed to her chest as she stared wide-eyed at Cú Alter.

He was grinning, which he normally only did before he killed a bunch of people, and she took a step back warily.

“You squeak like a mouse,” he said, stepped into the room and slammed the door behind him. Then, advancing on her like a predator, he said, “Admit it, Master. You want me.”

Nervously, she said, “I don’t think I ever denied it.” Then, because even nervous she couldn’t resist, she added, “Unlike some people present.”

He sprang on her with stupid unfair Servant speed, jerking her against his chest as his mouth closed over hers. Once again he licked her lips, bit them, tangled his tongue with hers. This time the kiss went on long enough for her to regather her wits. Although the kiss was hot enough to turn her legs to jelly, she smacked his extremely muscular chest until he let her go enough that she could talk.

She glared up into his mocking ruby eyes. This time he wasn’t getting away with _instinct_ or _habit_. “I did not order that. I didn’t even _ask_ for—”

Still grinning, he said, “I don’t give a shit,” and kissed her again, picking her up this time. This time the kiss was so deep she felt a little like she was being devoured, possibly by something that made you really _like_ being devoured.

Once he released her to catch her breath a second time, he settled himself on her bed, leaning against the wall and arranging her on his lap between his sprawled legs. This meant she was primarily straddling his pelvis, which she immediately became very keenly aware of.

Although he curled one big hand around the small of her back to support her, with the other, he casually ripped open her shirt, pulled it off her shoulders and put his hand over her breast in her bra. Then, conversationally, he said, “You see, Master, the problem with making me admit I want you is that it’s not the victory you think it is.” He shifted his pelvis against hers and his very obvious attraction rubbed against her core. She bit her lip at the flame-like bolt of pleasure that raced through her.

But as he touched her through her bra, looking at her half-bare chest, she asked, “How do you figure?”

In response, he unsnapped her bra and tossed it aside, sliding his fingers so that her nipple was caught against the webbing between two of them. His hard palm was almost bark-like against her tender skin and she wanted more.

“I want you, you’re mine. Don’t care what you want. Don’t care what anybody else wants.” He shifted her forward, bringing her torso closer to his face, and she dug her fingers into his hair for balance. When the warm wetness of his mouth closed over the tip of her unhandled breast, her hips jerked against his and he rocked upward in response. Lightning seemed to unite her core and her breast, and she rode it until he released her breast to tilt his head back, breathing hard.

Then his hands closed around her waist and he began to rub her against him, so slowly it had to be torment for him as well as her. “Hmm…” she said, and managed to make it sound like a thoughtful noise instead of a moan. “I’m still trying to understand here.”

He wasn’t smiling now. “I don’t do things halfway. There’s no off switch. It’s going to make me a worse Servant. A more disobedient one.” Her mouth twitched in a smile and he added, “This isn’t a fucking joke, Master.”

“You’re not really a very obedient one now, Cú Alter,” she whispered, still smiling. “You ignore most of what I say to you.”

Dismissively, he said, “I meant about important things.”

She nodded, tightening her thighs and running her hands down his chest. “Like winning wars.”

He stopped moving her, dug his fingers into the waistband of her yoga pants, and she felt his voice rumbling in his chest. “Like protecting you. Like hell I’ll let anybody take away what’s mine.” 

There was something unusually intense in his ruby eyes, and she said, “Hmm,” again more thoughtfully as she considered the implications of what he’d said.

“So. You’re the Master. Are you sure you want me to feel that way?”

Ritsuka blinked, her distant gaze snapping back to his. She’d imagined it was a done deal, and all she could do was reap the consequences of her flirtation with a walking calamity. And yet once more, he was asking her to tell him what she wanted.

She thought about that, and then thought again.

Then, carefully, knowing the answer could end everything—if he said no, if he got angry at her once more —she said, “Do you already?”

The silence that fell left her feeling cold, especially in her bare upper half. Then she realized Cú’s jaw was flexing and she could hear teeth grinding. Her stomach dropped and her shoulders slumped as she realized once again, she’d pushed too hard.

Then he growled, “Yes.” 

Slowly she raised her eyes to his. Then he was kissing her again, just as roughly as before. His hands cradling her head, he lowered her down to the bed so that he knelt over her, straddling her, all without breaking the kiss. When he finally did, he yanked down her pants while muttering, “Shouldn’t have asked, _Master_. Should have just taken the easy escape. I tried. You’re fucked now.”

Ritsuka laughed breathlessly, running her hands along his newly bare stomach. Mischievously she said, “I hope so—” and gasped as he shoved himself into her core in one swift move.

Though unsurprised, she hadn’t been entirely prepared. Her breath hissed between her teeth as her eyelids fluttered. It didn’t take long before the stinging became stretching, a hot pressure, and more than anything a sense of fullness. And as she finally managed to focus on things beyond her own body, she opened her eyes to see Cú Alter watching her intently as he leaned over her. 

“Taking it slow?” she asked him sweetly.

His mouth twisted. “Shut up, little Master,” he said and started to fuck her like he hadn’t just waited to make sure she was all right every step of the way. She whined as he slammed into her so vigorously her breasts jounced. She tried to find some part of him to hold onto. But he was just too big and though she dug into his shoulders, his arms, his hips with her nails, she ended up with her hands twisted in the sheets beside her head. Her hips bucked under him as he sent bolts of pleasure shivering through her.

Then he pulled away from her and rolled her over. When he once more pushed in her, he deliciously filled an aching hollow. And when he began to thrust again, this time he hit a spot inside that turned the bolts of pleasure into sheets that whited out her mind. And yet somehow she wanted _more_.

His sharp teeth scraped over her shoulder, which was _more_ and even better. And then it was too much, and a howl broke from her as her body jerked in spasms of pleasure that shook her as he just kept going. Even when the pleasure faded into limpness, he kept going, using her for his own pleasure like she was some kind of doll.

That thought was kind of exciting, actually. She made a brief effort to lift herself up, wondering how he felt about maybe another position change, but he pushed her down again and whispered in her ear, “No. I like you like this, _Master_.”

The words thrilled through her and she sank flat again, once again making fists in the sheets. He fucked her all the way through another orgasm before finally coming himself, with a groan through gritted teeth. Then he lowered himself on her, pressing her into her bed with his full weight. 

She enjoyed the pressure for a moment, and then struggled. “Hey, get off.”

Silently he rolled off her and then pulled her on top of him, his hands locking around her hips. She rested her chin on her hands, looking down at him. “It’s a good thing I really like you, isn’t it?”

“Convenient,” he said, as if he was indifferent to the topic. “But not essential.”

She grinned at him. “You say that, but—”

“Shut it. It’s generally unwise to piss off horny Berserkers, Master.”

“Right, right. So is that it? Satisfied now? Back to the status quo?”

His eyes narrowed and he ran a finger along her lips. Then he said, “Rest now. I’m a very long way from done with you.”

Ritsuka closed her eyes, but even as she drifted off, her smile lingered. Once her breathing deepened and her body went completely limp, the Mad King shifted position so he could curl around her protectively, the way he fully intended on making her sleep from now on out, as long as he drew breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making Cú Alter both in character AND a romantic lead is hard as fuck, yo. I hope I didn't fumble it too badly for some of you. Like Ritsuka I'd kind of like to stab him now.


	3. Arthur Pendragon

i.

His name was Arthur Pendragon, and he was destined to walk from world to world until he finally found the Beast of Humanity only he could kill. Once he’d been a king of Britain, but that had been long ago. He’d passed through many different Britains since, and worlds where Britain never existed, too.

For the most part, he travelled alone. Sometimes he found pleasant companions for a time in a world. But inevitably, the world shift would pull him away, to his next destination. He never had much warning—as much as you might have in a dream, right before waking. Enough to say goodbye, sometimes. Sometimes not even that.

In all his wanderings, he’d never met anybody else quite like himself, although he’d heard they existed. The closest he’d come was the woman called Ritsuka Fujimaru. Her manner of shifting between worlds was very different than his: theoretically more controlled, but prone to errors. Inevitably, he would meet her during one of these malfunctions.

Ritsuka was pragmatic, optimistic, resourceful, and handy with small pieces of magic. She was also on her own quest to defeat a threat to humanity, and proved a capable partner in dealing with the inevitable monsters he had to face in the worlds where they met. Sometimes they were together for only a few hours, and sometimes for days—until the world shift took him away, or her _rayshift_ managed to lock on and transport her away.

Usually he left her, because the _rayshift_ had trouble finding her when they were together. He couldn’t help that, but it did provide him with some comfort when he was pulled away, knowing that soon she’d be back with her friends and allies again, rather than left to wander alone.

He began to miss her when they weren’t together. He’d count the worlds he passed through without finding her. Hearing her voice across a vine-covered ruined city was enough to remind him how to smile. She always smiled when she saw him, too, and for a few hours or days, the world was brighter, the challenges easier to overcome, and he was happy.

Then a few hours wasn’t enough. He fought the world shift to stay near her longer _(just a few days, please, only a few days_ ). Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. He didn’t tell her when it had, or that it could. He cared for her very much but the situations they were in didn’t lend itself to the confession of deeper feelings.

One day, in an overgrown, forgotten world, they met at dawn, greeted each other cheerfully and walked all the morning through a hot, sticky forest toward a distant ruined tower. As the afternoon warmed, they came to a beautiful pond fed by a small waterfall spilling out of a split rock.

She smiled at him, tugging on her top where it clung to her breasts. "You know what I'd like to do?" Waving at the pond, she continued, “Swim! Wouldn’t that be nice?”

Arthur looked around and then up into the afternoon sky, gathering his composure before saying quietly, “Easily arranged, my lady. I can stand guard on the shore while you bathe.”

Ritsuka gave him a mischievous smile that instantly tightened his groin as she said, “I think swimming is more fun with a friend. That armor has to be even hotter than my Mystic Code.”

Arthur said carefully, “Well, it’s magic armor—”

“You’re sweating,” she said sweetly. “I can smell it.”

He could smell her, too. He’d become so attuned to her scent that he’d tracked her by it before. He could smell when she was worried, when she was cheerful, when she was tired.

She was very cheerful now, under the perfume of her sweat and the tropical blossom she’d put in her hair. Unfortunately, reading her mood didn’t actually tell him her intentions. He knew in her land, they had different ideas about communal bathing than those he was most accustomed to. While he was happy to oblige her, he dreaded making her uncomfortable with his obvious amorous interest.

He glanced at the pool again. It curved around the rock spring, and he decided it was large enough for them to stay on separate sides if that was the case. “Let me go in first and make sure it’s safe, my lady?”

Her eyes sparkled. “Oh, all right.” She bounded over to the edge of the pool and sat down to take off her boots. While she was focused on that, Arthur strode past her into the water, his armor vanishing as he stepped into the water.

“So unfair,” she sighed, and he was aware of her eyes on his back as he descended into the cool water. Cool, but not truly cold, which was an unfortunate blessing.

“Perhaps, but I’d be in a lot of trouble without that gift, my lady.” The pool leveled out at about his ribcage, which would be… almost sufficient for at least the illusion of modesty for Ritsuka. It would only be an illusion because the water of the pool was crystal clear—but illusions could be very useful sometimes.

After making a circuit of the pool, keeping his eyes on the water so that he only caught glimpses of Ritsuka’s bare flesh in his peripheral vision, he announced, “It seems to be safe. Be careful how you step, though.”

Then he turned his back on the shore, studying the spring itself as it tumbled into the pool. It interested him not at all, but it was movement to focus his eyes on, especially as he heard the splashing of Ritsuka approaching behind him.

“I’ve got a confession to make,” she said in an airy, too-nonchalant way. “I really like seeing you without your shirt on.”

He chuckled, keeping his gaze on the trickle of water. “I’m delighted to indulge you, my lady.”

Her small hand gently touched his back, and his muscles tightened. She pulled away and asked in a smaller voice, “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

All the years of his life and he’d never figured out the right answer to that question when he didn’t want to push somebody away. Instead, he simply told the truth. “I very much want to see you naked, my lady. Not just see, either.”

“Oh,” she said, and touched his back again. “Arthur… here I am.”

It was invitation enough. He turned and took her in his arms, his hands gliding over her submerged hips. She smiled shyly up at him and flattened her palms against his chest. Then she stood on her tiptoes and he met her in a kiss that felt so right, so natural, that he wondered at having put off this moment for so long. Surely this was meant to be, his compensation for his endless Beast hunt.

For a moment he only kissed her hungrily, licking her lips apart and fusing their mouths together. When she twined her arms around his neck, he ran his own hands up her torso, cupping her perfectly sized breasts. She gasped, breaking the kiss to arch her head back, and he kissed her throat instead.

Then, because he wasn’t an unfair man, he released her breasts and slid his hands around to her backside as he murmured, “Did you want to swim now?”

She laughed breathlessly, her eyes flickering open to look at the sky. “Let’s swim later.”

“Good plan,” he whispered, and kissed under her ear as he lifted her against him. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she caught his mouth again as he carried her closer to the shore.

The breeze picked up, and then he heard the rushing susurration of distant bells, the breathy whisper of an orchestra tuning itself. It was the sound of a world shift about to take place. Dismay crashed through his joy and he stopped moving, his eyes closing as he tried to resist the call.

Ritsuka felt him stiffen and pulled away, her brow furrowing. “Arthur? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head as resisting the pull became almost painful. Dammit, sometimes he had hours of warning; he hadn’t even accomplished anything in this world—

—except kissing Ritsuka—

Shifting his weight, he set her down again. “I hope we can pick this up next time, my lady. But the bells are calling.”

Her face fell, and he tucked a damp strand of hair behind her ear as his armor rematerialized around him. “We’ll see each other again. We always do, don’t we?” As he faded away, she found a wry smile to give him before blowing him a kiss.

The memory of her smile, and of her wet skin under his fingers kept him warm that night as he huddled against an outcropping of rock in an icy world beside the corpse of a giant. He couldn’t wait until the next time he saw her.

But although he walked through hundreds of worlds more, she never came to him in any of them again.

ii.

One day a different kind of world shift called Arthur Pendragon. Instead of bells and gentle cacophony of waking music, he heard a babble of voices, far more than he could understand. Then, as if she stood beside him, Merlin whispered in his ear, “I’ve opened this connection, Arthur. It may help you in your quest. Or it may hurt you. Maybe both! You can refuse if you want. You’re no ordinary Heroic Spirit this time.”

Arthur sighed, scratching the ear the magus tickled. “I never refuse, Merlin.” He looked around as clouds of petals flowed around him.

“True!” said Merlin, and laughed. “If you see my brother, tell him he owes me!” Then her presence was gone and magic wrapped around him. It felt… familiar, from long ago.

_Ah. Where all of this began._ _A Holy Grail War._

Except it wasn’t. The magic was similar but not identical. Not tainted.

As he tried to understand it, a pleasant computer-generated woman’s voice reached him. “Servant, Saber.Nature, unlimited. Adjusting container. Please stand by for manifestation.”

Golden light flickered around him and he drifted to the floor in a room of of blue lines and black glass. It was the most high-tech magic circle he’d ever seen, and suggested they did many, many summonings. Absently, he wondered if he’d meet anybody he knew from other Wars, or even from his long ago life.

As the general knowledge augmentation supplied by the computerized summoning system settled into his mind, he greeted the figures standing beyond the glowing light of the circle. “Hello. I hope I can be of assistance while I’m here. My name is Arthur Pendragon, and as long as you fight to protect the world, my sword is at your service—”

He stopped abruptly as a familiar scent hit his nose. Beyond the clean scents of glass and metal, he could detect something sweeter. Something he knew. Something… surprised.

A dry, amused woman’s voice said, “Arthur Pendragon, are you? Well, well, well. Another one. What do you think of that, Ritsuka?”

“Arthur!” said a familiar voice, with a joy that stabbed like torture. As the lights normalized, a woman he hadn’t seen in what felt like lifetimes stepped forward, smiling like she always had.

No. Not a woman. This was a girl, somewhere in her late teens. Carefully he looked around, and then up at the ceiling to try and pull together his scattered composure. His chest hurt.

Ritsuka.

He’d given up on ever seeing her again so long ago. Was this even really her? How could she be so _young?_

He pulled himself together. There would be time later to understand. He just had to buy it. So he swept a bow and then looked at her amber eyes. “Ritsuka. Are you my Master?”

She stopped, the joy draining from her face. Then a wry, bittersweet smile twisted her face. “Oh well.” With a tight little shrug, she held out her hand. “That’s me. I’ve… heard of you before, Arthur Pendragon. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Ritsuka, you’re joking around, but he doesn’t know enough to tell,” said the older woman reproachfully. _Leonardo da Vinci_ , whispered his summoning augmentation

Arthur felt arguments rising like instinct. _No, she wasn’t joking._ _Yes, oh_ yes _, he knew her._ They choked him, forming a salt lump in his throat. His hands twitched and trembled, like he wanted to shake her, cling to her. Something threatened to claw its way out of his chest. And all the while his thoughts, cool and calm, said, _It does not matter if we know her or not._

He felt _too much;_ it paralyzed him. Survival instincts honed by walking a thousand worlds took over. Emotions could always be sorted out later, when it would be safe for those around him. The truth could wait. What mattered now was _appearing harmless_.

A small, friendly smile took over his face and he gave a slight now. “My lady,” he said, and then they both frowned. “Master,” he corrected himself.

Even his words betrayed him.

Her eyes twinkled as she beamed. “I don’t mind _my lady_ if it’s what feels right. Come on, I’ll show you around.” She led him toward the exit. “I think the knowledge augmentation told you what we’re up against?”

The knowledge augmentation finished settling into place and he _understood_ her reaction. Sometimes when Ritsuka resummoned a lost Servant, they would remember her. Other times, they wouldn’t. Her own recorded ethics dictated that she let each Servant grow into their own person, without trying to reshape them into who they were before. So, just like him, she had habits that enabled her to navigate the most precarious of interactions. She’d learned to suppress her prior knowledge in favor of a fresh start.

“The Grand Order,” he said absently, but it wasn’t the augmentation talking. Ritsuka had told him of her own mission, so long ago.

“Basically,” she said, and gestured him into the hall as she began a well-rehearsed friendly chatter aimed at establishing that first bond with the new Servant. He responded automatically, his senses on high alert. Eventually she finally showed him to private quarters with a promise to get him some team training soon. He sagged into a chair as soon as she left.

She thought she knew him. He was _sure_ he knew her. But he could also feel the hole in his heart where joy had drained away during worlds after worlds without her.If only he knew _why_ she’d stopped coming to him. Why was she _so young_?

_It doesn’t matter_ , he told himself. _The world-shift will part us again._ He’d learned long ago not to build attachment to any one world, and far more recently how dangerous attachment to a specific person could be. He had a singular task, one whole worlds depended on him to complete. Humanity, he cherished. One particular _(so very young)_ woman…

He’d let her “fresh start” approach continue, and make sure he left no lasting imprint on Ritsuka this time. Given the inescapable truths of his existence, that would be better for everyone.

iii.

_“Great news, Ritsuka. We’ve fixed one of the major bugs with the rayshift technology. With any luck, we won’t be losing track of you anymore.”_

Ritsuka leaned against the wall outside of Arthur’s quarters, remembering when da Vinci had told her that, shortly after the last time she’d seen Arthur. They’d never been able to detect his presence with her and after only a few encounters she’d stopped mentioning him in her reports. What they couldn’t detect would only worry them, and the time spent with Arthur felt uniquely hers.

She hadn’t seen him since the fix, though, even in those dream expeditions that happened to her off and on. After weeks, she’d forced herself to accept that fixing the glitch had changed something. It was that… or something worse, like he’d finally found his Beast and, one way or another, departed existence.

She’d never, ever expected to see him in the Chaldea summoning circle. Her world had his counterpart, after all; she was an important part of Chaldean operations. But although Artoria and Arthur shared the same titles and had similar weapons, they were very different people. Arthur had left his kingship behind long ago, while it still defined Artoria. And Ritsuka had never connected with Artoria the way she’d connected with Arthur.

If she was honest with herself, she’d never connected to _anybody_ that way.

Ritsuka remembered the few moments she’d spent in his arms, feeling daring and breathless as she kissed the legendary warrior. Then she sighed. This was Chaldea, not a matchmaking service. She didn’t quite understand why he’d come _now,_ in the wake of the confrontation with Solomon, but he seemed like a proper Servant at this point, complete with cleaned memories. Perhaps he _had_ encountered his Beast, and bent sent properly after to the Throne of Heroes. She hoped, if he had, he’d won.

Biting her lip, Ritsuka rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her hand. She had to accept that he was a different person. He would develop his own relationships here. If she allowed it, they might even grow close again. But she had to resist that temptation. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

Besides, this wasn’t a lonely wilderness or abandoned ruins. In a place like Chaldea, he’d find plenty of companionship among the other heroes. With a sigh, Ritsuka straightened up and went to go spread news of his coming to all those who would be interested, so he wouldn’t have any reason to be lonely while contracted to her.

iv.

Time soon showed Ritsuka that while there were plenty of Servants interested in befriending the new Saber, he didn’t seem interested in any of them. He was always polite and friendly, if they could corner him. But he was remarkably elusive, save for a habit of spending time reading to the child Servants. He was always available when Ritsuka wanted him on a mission, though. He called her _Master_ sometimes and _my lady_ just often enough that she stopped hoping it meant something.

Even if he did have some fragmentary memories of her, he wasn’t quite the Arthur she remembered. A reserve she’d detected when she first met him had only grown stronger. He could smile, even laugh, but part of him was always far away, watching and waiting. No attack surprised them when he came on missions, and he never seemed triumphant in victory, only ready for the next fight.

He was happy to let others take the spotlight, offering a quiet word of praise to those who deserved it and then fading into the background before anyone could notice. Except Ritsuka did notice. She always noticed him, although she tried to respect his desire for privacy. Sometimes she thought about telling him she’d known another version of him, but she never actually did.

One day they found themselves temporarily stranded in a mountainous region, with tall thin evergreens and the faint roar of a waterfall in the distance. The rayshift repair that had taken her from her Arthur hadn’t removed _all_ the glitches from the system, and she still found herself cut off just often enough that it only exasperated her.

Still, she felt the keen edge of being stranded with Arthur, of all people.

“Just like old times, though,” she muttered under her breath, crossing her arms against the slight chill of the mountain air.

Arthur, kneeling and working on a campfire, smiled briefly without looking up. The expression unsettled Ritsuka just as his first _my lady_ had. The whole situation really was eerily familiar. He’d built fires for her before, when it had just been the two of them.

Not this Arthur, though. A different him. She had to remember—

“Arthur,” she began abruptly, and then stopped. He gave her an inquisitive look, his brows arching and his eyes still gleaming with good humor.

“Yes, my lady?”

“Have we done this before? I’m… having deja vu.” She instantly regretted asking, but it was too late.

He looked down at his kindling and tinder again, shielding the embers from the wind with his hand. They flared and then died despite the shelter. He held the spark striker close to the tinder, and then paused. Without looking up, he said, “If we did, it was so long ago that the memory fades into dream.”

Ritsuka caught her breath. In the silence, the striker scraped and another spark flared. He coaxed it into a tiny flame that lit up the deepening gloom as she tried frantically to see past the ambiguity of his answer. Before she’d managed it, he spoke again. “How old are you now, my lady?”

At the implication of the question, a leaden weight settled in her stomach, but force of habit made her answer cheerfully. “Seventeen, officially. Nineteen when you take into account the Grand Order.”

The small flame died. “Nineteen,” he murmured. “So young. And you’ve already accomplished so much.”

_No, I haven’t_ , she thought, and _You were a king at my age_ , and then _None of that matters._ She would leave well enough alone. She had no right to demand more of him. That she cared for him in a way she cared for no other Servant required her to be _more_ considerate of his needs, not less. And yet she wanted so badly to try and awaken memories he’d clearly buried.

She shook her head and forced herself to change the subject. “That fire isn’t starting here. Let’s go find the waterfall instead.”

He glanced up at her, his expression very calm. “It will be dark soon. A full moon, but beasts will be about.”

“All the better,” she said, and she knew her voice held a brittle edge despite her best efforts. “You won’t be defeated by those.”

Arthur scattered his campfire prep and stood up, his cloak swirling around him. “As you wish, my lady.”

Ritsuka nodded firmly and set out in the most likely direction given the terrain. The mountain trees were widely spaced, and a moment later, Arthur fell into step beside her. She could see his profile even in the fading twilight as they crunched across evergreen needles, and it struck something raw inside her. It was too familiar. It had clearly been longer for him, but only a few scant months for her, and everything about their situation—Chaldea’s silence, their solitude, the way he walked—picked away at scabs that had barely been healing.

She sped up, as if she could outpace the memories. But she couldn’t outpace him, even with a running start. The physical side of things had never been her forte. He’d handled that, while she’d handled magecraft.

The attack, when it came, only caught her partially off-guard. She noticed Arthur’s body language change, and she was already so on edge that when bones clattered around her and a giant demon boar burst through the trees, she had Gandr ready. A flash of light from her finger impacted on the boar’s head and it stumbled. The skeletons that accompanied it rattled on, closing on Ritsuka and Arthur.

“Ah, I see. Long ago this forest swallowed an army. I’m afraid it sees me as another meal,” said Arthur, spinning his sword through a warm-up form as he moved closer to Ritsuka.

“Too bad for the forest,” said Ritsuka, as the demon boar recovered and set itself for a charge. Then it really was like old times, with Arthur slashing his way through enemies with Ritsuka close beside him. She kept an eye on his back, using her limited magic to slow down the onslaught. Mostly, she focused on the boar, doing her best to keep it distracted while Arthur dealt with the remnants of the ancient army.

Then, as she ran out of distractions, Arthur moved in on the boar. It was a powerful monster, but Arthur fought with a brutal efficiency that quickly staggered the creature. Even when Ritsuka thought it was down, Arthur remained ready for when it abruptly roared to its feet again. Ritsuka found a burst of energy for a final Gandr that sent it reeling, before Arthur sliced through its spine.

As it shattered into motes of light, Ritsuka grinned fiercely at the boar despite being out of breath. She was far more drained than was safe, and she knew she should have been sensible about letting Arthur build a campsite, but it felt so good to fight beside Arthur again. She felt like _herself_ , rather than the Master of Chaldea, with a hundred Servants and an overwhelming responsibility.

She glanced at Arthur and realized he was staring at her, the full moon glinting off his eyes. They were wide, almost wild. The calm he’d sustained through the battle had been replaced by a charge in the atmosphere. For a moment she thought he was about to scold her for risking herself—

—Then his hands closed over her shoulders. “This is madness,” he muttered, and his mouth covered hers. Her body responded, her lips parting, even as her mind froze. Then she was swept back into her memories of the lake as his tongue caressed her own and his fingers slid into her hair. She wrapped her arms around him, a thrill of fear that he’d be taken away again making her lean into his kiss with a thoughtless fervor.

This was what she’d dreamt of, night after night. Arthur’s strong fingers stroked down her spine and then up her torso. His palm skimmed lightly over her breast and then he was unbuttoning her shirt, all without unfusing his mouth from hers. When his hand slid under her bra, a rough warmth against her soft skin, his other hand tightened painfully in her hair. Then he was kissing her throat as he pulled her head back, muttering her name in a husky voice.

Ritsuka found a way to burrow her hands under his own armored tunic without releasing him, and pressed her fingers against taut muscle. He inhaled sharply and then kissed her mouth again, in between muttering broken phrases. “I don’t care… it doesn’t matter….”

She didn’t care either. Ritsuka’s mind was still half in the memory of their embrace in the lake, when she’d been confident enough in their strange relationship to take it to the next step. He’d been taken from her by his destiny then, but now—

“Ritsuka! Thank God we found you!” came da Vinci’s voice through her communicator. “Oh no… your numbers are distorted. We can grab the Servants later; I’m locking on for a rayshift now, while we can—”

She clung to Arthur, because surely this was a bad dream and she could change it by force of will. But when she felt the rayshift begin, Arthur released her unexpectedly, pushing her away. She howled a denial, convinced that what had happened at the lake was happening again. Her shriek of rage and frustration followed her through imaginary number space until she returned with a jolt to the protective rayshift coffin.

Furiously she banged on the lid until it opened and then scrambled out, already saying, “No, no, no, you shouldn’t have done that, I don’t want to lose him—”

She realized belatedly another coffin had opened only when Arthur said calmly behind her, “Master?”

Ritsuka swung around. He regarded her with what had to be a supernatural calm, as if what had happened hadn’t. For a moment, Ritsuka thought wildly of all the times she’d met Arthur by accident and the Chaldean sensors had seen nothing. Had that man she’d kissed a moment ago been the ghost of her own lover, and now Arthur was back to being who she’d summoned? It wouldn’t be the first time she’d experienced something like that: Servants she thought she knew, _borrowed_ by a different personality.

Then she saw his hands pressed against his thighs, as if they’d be otherwise shaking.

“Senpai?” asked Mash worriedly, hurrying around the console as da Vinci scanned Ritsuka up and down.

Ritsuka shook her head hurriedly, unwilling to explain, and then strode toward Arthur. Grabbing him by the wrist she towed him toward the chamber exit. “I’ll talk to you later, Mash.”

As she emerged into the hall, Arthur didn’t say a word, but she felt his hand twist to catch her wrist just as she held his. It almost made her stop, turn on him in the corridor. She didn’t. Instead she ignored his murmured, “Master?” and dragged him all the way to his own quarters.

At his door, he suddenly, effortlessly, put on the brakes. She was suddenly tugging at a stone statue, ten feet from his door. “My lady, what are you doing?”

She gave him a burning glare and pulled on him harder. “An experiment.”

“In my quarters?” Gentle amusement flickered in his eyes, and she couldn’t bear not knowing anymore.

“It doesn’t have to be,” she snapped, and switched from pull to push, advancing on him. At least, it should have been _push._ In a properly written world, he’d back away from the fire in her eye, so she could pin him to the wall.

Instead he stood stock still, regarding her calmly, right until his eyes widened as she pressed herself against him.

She didn’t even get a chance to kiss _him_. He met her halfway, once again wrapping his hands around her shoulders. He kissed her and she bit his lip angrily, and then twisted her fingers in his hair as he nipped her back and then deepened the kiss.

Their first kiss had been sweet in comparison to the desperation of their second. This one felt like a snatch of a wordless argument. Then he broke away enough to murmur against her mouth, “Fine. You win.”

Then _he_ was towing _her_ to his door, opening it, and pulling her inside. He released her after that, reaching past her to shut the door again. Then he stepped back, his breath ragged and his hands once again resting against his thighs.

She stared at him, at the depth of the sea-green eyes and the way he met her gaze steadily despite the trembling in his hands. He’d asked her age earlier like it had mattered to him, and he trembled after kissing her now.

Her anger evaporated, leaving only a confusion she was determined to sort out. But first—

“You don’t have to be afraid,” she told him, as gently as she could.

He stared at her blankly for a moment, and then gave a short little laugh as he ran his hands through his hair. “You think I’m _afraid_ of you?” Another little laugh and he dropped his gaze to the floor. “Maybe I am, at that.”

Ritsuka scowled at his laugh and pressed ahead. “You do remember me, don’t you? From before I summoned you? You wouldn’t kiss me like that just because I’m your Master.”

He gave her a sideways glance and then took his cloak off, moving to hang it up. After he did, he brushed his fingers over the fabric. “I never really understood why Lance betrayed me with Gwen, despite everything. It’s one of the reasons I forgave him. How could I judge when I didn’t understand?”

“Arthur…” said Ritsuka warningly, her temper fraying again.

With another sidelong look, one that sent heat shooting through her body, he said, “I understand now.” He reached around to one side and flipped the latches that kept his armored tunic secured.

“You know kissing me isn’t betraying anybody, right?” She frowned as uncertainty presented itself. “Is it?”

He slid the coat-like armor off, leaving himself in only a long-sleeved white undershirt and dark blue pants. “No,” he said. “I wouldn’t call it betrayal.” He gave her one of his beautiful little smiles. “But I spent a very, very long time missing you after we stopped meeting.”

Once again that leaden weight occupied Ritsuka’s stomach. “How long?”

Arthur tilted his head, his eyes going distant. Then they snapped back into focus and he gave her a wry grin. “At least as long as you’ve been alive, I think.”

Ritsuka stared at him in horror before whispering, “It was only a couple of months for me.”

“Oh yes, I realized that eventually, after you summoned me,” he assured her, his hands spreading. “I know it wasn’t the same for you. You met me repeatedly over a very short period of time. And then it was over.”

“Da Vinci fixed something in the rayshift technology,” Ritsuka blurted. “She fixed something right after the last time we saw each other, and… and then I didn’t see you again.”

He regarded her calmly and quietly. The silence sucked more words out of her. “I missed you, too.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she dashed them away with the back of her hand. “I missed you even _after_ summoning you. I tried to treat you like a new Servant… sometimes I wondered if you remembered me, but I couldn’t figure out why you’d hide it if so.”

“Just… fear,” he said. “I _will_ leave again. I was afraid of spending the rest of my journey longing for you. I’ve seen… _so much_ break because of feelings like that.”

Although she almost choked on the bitterness of the words, Ritsuka forced them out. “Because of love?”

Once again, Arthur gave a short laugh. “Oh no, my lady. For love, I’llfight demon pillars and dead armies for you; I’ll pray for your happiness; I’ll thank the heavens on your every birthday. Love, pure and true, uplifts and redeems. I do love you, Ritsuka, and I don’t regret it.”

Tears spilled from Ritsuka’s eyes and she pressed her palms against them so hard she saw flashes of light. “Then why—” Her voice broke.

Then his hands were around her waist as he tugged her to his chest in what was probably intended as a comforting hug. “Shh, shh,” he whispered. “Don’t cry. I never meant to hurt you.”

Ritsuka’s tears kept flowing, but she slid her arms around his neck and pressed her face to his chest, inhaling his copper-magic musk. He pressed his nose into her hair and his breath harshened.

Slowly he shifted position, moving his mouth down to her ear. “Ritsuka.” His lips brushed the shell of her ear and she shivered. “Don’t cry, don’t cry. If you cry, I have to hold you, and holding you—” He nipped her ear. “This is the brink of madness.”

She lifted her head, and he caught her mouth with his, twining his tongue around hers before kissing down her neck, muttering as he did. “I’d kill for you, I’d die for you.” He unbuttoned her shirt more, licked her collarbone. “Anyone.”

“Arthur?” Ritsuka whispered. Liquid desire pooled in her belly and dazed her thoughts, but she could sense the conflict under his words. “

His hands tightened on her and then he pulled his mouth away from her enough to meet her eyes. “This isn’t a hero’s love, Ritsuka. I want you naked and writhing underneath me. In the right situation, I’d kill for that. I’m not sure I could stop myself.”

Ritsuka stared up at him, her heart pounding so hard she heard the rush in her ears. Her fingers curled against his chest, into his shirt. Then she gently pushed herself away and scrubbed the remnants of the tears from her cheeks.

He didn’t quite let her go, his fingers trailing to her hips, and she didn’t have the willpower to back off further. But she said, “All right. I understand… I understand why you hid from me.” He watched her, his green eyes narrow and focused on her mouth, like a cat watching a mouse. She cast about wildly for some way to reassure him. “I’ll make sure we aren’t alone together again. We can go back to how it was yesterday.”

She managed to take one more step away from him, and he caught her wrist. “Don’t.”

“What?” she asked.“Don’t stay away from you? You just told me you’d become something you hated if… if…” Words failed her and she hurried on. “I’m not going to do that to you.”

He didn’t release her, but he lifted his gaze to meet hers as a smile flickered across his face. “I’m not perfect, Ritsuka.”

Testily, she said, “Yes, I know. Isn’t that what we’re talking about?” She tugged on her hand vainly. “If you were perfect, you’d be smart enough to let me go!”

Instead he pulled her back toward him, hard enough that she stumbled when she resisted. “Hey!” she squawked. “I’m trying to be a hero for you here. Stop making it so hard!”

He caught her around the waist and positioned her so once again he could nibble on her ear as he spoke. “It’s too late. You’re going to have to reject me a lot harder than that. Go away for another century, maybe.” His soft lips caressed her earlobe and she shoved at him to no avail. Then she processed _a century_ and froze at the lonely vision that rose before her.

Arthur took advantage of her stillness to return to unbuttoning her shirt. “I never forgot you because you _never_ thought I was perfect.” When her shirt gaped open, he deftly unhooked her bra.

She gasped as he cupped one of her breasts and then put her palm against his cheek. “Arthur, are you sure…? You _just_ _said_ —”

He turned his head and kissed her palm. “I said I loved you and I wanted you naked underneath me.”

She slid her fingers into his hair and tugged on it in frantic irritation. “And also that you’d miss me forever and turn into some kind of super villain as a result!”

“It’s too late,” he repeated calmly, rubbing both her breasts now. “It was a lost cause as soon as I saw you again. I was just too afraid to admit it.”

“And now you’re not?!” Her eyes slitted closed at the feeling of his thumbs circling her nipples.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m distracted by,” and he leaned down once again to whisper in her ear, “how much I want to fuck you.”

Shivers ran up and down Ritsuka’s spine at the word. He’d chosen it on purpose, she knew. He was always so gently-spoken normally, the same way he always held everybody at a distance. She couldn’t decide if it was another warning sign or not.

If she was uncertain, that was her answer, wasn’t it? Despite how much she ached to let him do what he wanted, she had to do the right thing. One more time, she pushed on his chest. “I’m trying to help you, dammit.”

He brushed his thumbs over her nipples, and his green eyes glittered when she gasped. “I said I wasn’t perfect. Do you trust me anyhow?”

“Yes,” she breathed, her eyes closing. He kissed her mouth gently, his hands continuing to move at her breasts.

Then he lifted his head and said, “I made a mistake. I thought it was on the rayshift just now, until you dragged me here. But it was when you summoned me, when I let the warrior push down the man. But I really do want you too much for the warrior to win.”

Her eyes opened. “What about the future?” She ought to dread it, but his hands made it impossible to feel anything but a warm, sweet fluttering in her stomach and between her legs.

He shrugged again, looking at her steadily. “I’ve remembered the future happens whatever we do. I’m sorry for being so confusing, my lady. And if you’ll trust me now, I’ll do my best to make it up to you.”

His hands stilled as he waited for her decision, although he kept touching her. To be fair, she still had her hand tangled in his hair. She searched his face, looking for any sign of doubt or conflict. Instead she saw the man she’d kissed while naked in a lake, looking at her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.

“I trust you,” she breathed.

She’d barely spoke before he was pushing her shirt and bra onto the floor as his mouth covered hers, his tongue delving deep. His fingers dipped into her pants and then he was unsnapping them, tugging them down. She hurriedly kicked off her shoes and her pants followed. Then he swung her up into his arms, clad only in her underwear, and carried her to his bed.

Once he put her down, he knelt beside the bed, very slowly inspecting every inch of her. “I spent a long time regretting everything I didn’t have a chance to do to you before I was pulled away.” He bent and pressed a kiss to her knee. His feather-light touch almost tickled.

“You like knees?” she asked, and then bit her lip as he kissed her knee again, more lingeringly.

“I like _your_ knees. I don’t think I’ve ever had an opinion about anybody else’s.” He stretched over her and kissed her other knee. The movement of his lips sent fire racing to her belly, and she shook her head a little.

“They’re only knees. They’re not indecent or anything.” She narrowed her eyes.

He lifted his head and gave her a steady look. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about the indecencies of every part of you, my lady.” Then he shifted position and kissed her navel, swirling his tongue into the indentation.

She gasped and snorted as she twitched, because that _did_ tickle. “No, stop!”

“I wondered if that would tickle,” Arthur said, sounding satisfied as he pulled away.

“You’d better be careful,” she warned him. “I used to be pretty ticklish. I’d hate to kick you in the head.”

“If you can manage to kick me in the head, I deserve it.” He traced around her naval with his finger as he met her gaze. Then his finger drifted down and hooked under the waistband of her panties. “This is the sort of thing I dreamt of at first. Touching you gently. Showing you how much I cherished you.”

“Only at first?”

“The longer I went without seeing you, the more my fantasies changed. I spent a while very angry. Convinced you’d teased me and left me on purpose. I still wanted you, even then.” He left her panties in place and slid two of his fingers over the fabric between her legs. She gasped and arched her hips, pushing against his hand.

“I didn’t,” she panted. “I would never—”

“I know.” He stroked her core firmly with those two fingers. “I would have fucked you against a tree in the forest earlier, without a second thought. Watching you fight was… overwhelming.”

Ritsuka bit her lip and tossed her head at the steady movement of his hand. “You’ve seen me in battles before…”

“Not alone. Not so close to me. I made sure of that.” His fingers slowed and then lifted. “I dreamt of finding you again and picking up where we left off. Immediately. Without even saying hello.”

She put her hand on his arm, and then tugged on the fabric of his shirt. “Fully dressed?”

“Oh yes,” he said. “Everything selfish and greedy.” But he pulled his shirt off, leaving his muscular torso bare. Then he gently tucked a stray hair behind her ear before pressing his warm chest against hers to kiss her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck to return the kiss, and felt the tension making his muscles like iron. He kissed her slowly and deliberately, though, as if he could go on doing it all day. Experimentally, she nipped at his mouth, disrupting his careful pattern. He recovered and she did it again, catching his lower lip between her teeth and sucking on it.

Almost instantly, his kiss changed. He had her arms pinned beside her head and his kiss became rougher, more controlling. Then he trapped both her wrists with one of his and began to fondle her breast with his other hand, rubbing his thumb against her nipple until it grew stiff and hard, pulling on it, molding her breast to his hand.

Then he put his mouth where his hand had been, his hot, slippery tongue twisting around the ridged flesh. Then, his breath ragged, he said, “I dreamt of you in every possible way, Ritsuka. Until finally I disgusted myself so much that I made myself stop. I went back to my true memories of you, polished them up, and then tried to let you go. But I still want you all the ways I ever did.”

He captured her other breast with his mouth, using his teeth this time, so roughly that she whimpered and squirmed at the sting, even though it made her panties even more damp than his rubbing had.

When he released her, he gave her the same intent, focused glance he’d given her earlier, before releasing her hands. Once again, she settled them on his shoulders.

“You’re so tense,” she said, and then guessed at the reason. “Are you afraid of being pulled away again?”

He laughed, but it was harsh laughter. “That’s part of it. I still feel like I’m fighting back madness, touching you. Like you’re water after a hundred years of drought.”

“You’re going very slowly for such a thirsty man,” she said thoughtfully, pressing her fingers into his tense shoulders.

With a wry grin, he said, “I’m being defiant. I’m _not_ mad, not now, and I’m not going to let fear ruin this for me.”

She squinted up at him, closing one eye. “Do you think it would? I mean, what would you be doing if you weren’t being defiant?”

“Making you come. Possibly for the second time.”

Startled, she said, “That’s your selfish option? Uh, I know I’m not very experienced here, but…”

Holding her gaze, he slid his hand between her panties and her skin, stroking the outer folds of her core before parting them and slipping his fingers within. The interior folds were already slick with her arousal, and she bit her lip in an attempt to control herself in response to his explorations. His green eyes never left her own as his movements acquired a rhythm.

Then Arthur kissed her again, in the same deliberate style as before. Suddenly what had been pleasant and distracting acquired an urgent edge. She moaned agains his mouth and rocked her hips against his hand. As he pressed harder with his hand, she dug her nails into his shoulders. Once again, his kiss roughened. Then, all at once, ecstasy burst over her. She thrashed against him, but he kept kissing her, even as his hand pushed her pleasure farther and farther.

When her thrashing finally stopped and the pleasure was sparks echoing along her nerves, he finally stopped kissing her. Her hands fell limply away from his shoulders as her eyes opened to meet his unwavering green stare.

“Very selfish,” he said softly. “No talking. No explaining. Just bending you to my will, because I want to.”

“Okay,” she said after a moment. “But twice?”

“More if I can manage it,” he said firmly.

She gave him a blank look. “But what about _you_?”

“Oh, if I was living out the worst of my fantasies, that would come last,” he said. “When you were too exhausted to have any opinion on the matter.”

Ritsuka considered that. “That might be fun another time.” She pushed herself up on her elbows, and he shifted position to let her sit up further. “But you’re not being entirely truthful, are you?”

Arthur gave her a wary look. “Why do you say that?”

“You said you would have fucked me against a tree in the singularity.” His eyes widened and she gave him a smug look. “I think we should go back to that.”

“No trees here,” he said distantly, staring at her.

She rubbed her palms across his chest and grinned at him. “Is that the important part?”

He inhaled as if to speak, and then dragged her panties off, tossing them aside. Wrapping his fingers around the back of her head, he pulled her to him for a kiss as he shifted onto the bed, losing his own pants along the way. Then he pushed her onto her back again, caught one of her knees and lifted it, spreading her legs wide, pausing once again to kiss her knee in the process.

She caught a glimpse of his hard cock rising from the golden hair between his legs, thick and veined before she felt its heat nudging against her entrance. That was all the warning she had before he pushed inside her. She cried out, wrapping her hands around his forearms as he stretched over her. He withdrew and thrust again, once again filling her so completely that she yelped.

A fierce, absent smile curled his mouth. “Keep making those noises, my lady—” he whispered, and once more pulled out and shoved himself in. She covered her mouth, her face scarlet. But the glitter in his eyes made hot desire bloom within her again, and she shifted her hips to meet his next thrust. His eyes slitted half-closed and he began to move faster and harder,

It felt strange and sharp and good, and like the rising tension of a tightening wire. She lost all track of time in the pulse of his hips against hers and their sweat mingling as the exquisite sensations swept through her. At one point, she knew he shifted, just a little, so he bring his mouth to her breast during a slowing of his thrusts. But that only seemed to last a moment before he put his hand over the top of her core and gave her a hard shove off a cliff into bliss.

He finished himself only a moment later, and hung over her a moment, breathing hard. Dreamily, she reached up to stroke his damp golden hair. “I liked that.”

Carefully, he let himself down beside her, draping an arm over her ribcage and nuzzling her shoulder. “So did I.”

She found his hand and laced her fingers through his. “I wish we’d managed it months ago. Years ago. Whatever.” She failed to cover a yawn.

A hesitant knock sounded at the door, and Ritsuka’s eyebrows drew together. Then as Mash said through the barrier, “Arthur, do you know where Senpai went?” she tried to jolt upright in the sudden rush of memory of how exactly she’d ended up in this position.

Arthur caught her and pushed her back down again firmly, and then covered her mouth. His voice low but carrying, he called back. “Yes, I do. She’s in here with me, sleeping.”

Ritsuka stared up at him with wide eyes, imagining Mash’s expression. He smiled down at her.

Mash said, “Oh. Uh, she is? Is she… oh. Thank you, Arthur! Um, should I have the kitchen make her a meal on a tray?”

“Yes, Mash,” said Arthur gravely. “That would be good. But leave it outside the door.” He then lifted his hand from her mouth.

“I’m supposed to—” Ritsuka hissed.

“Stay here with me,” he pointed out. But when she opened her mouth to protest again, instead of arguing, he kissed her.

This, it turned out, was the best argument of all.


End file.
